Baby boy home from hospital outfit

I was diagnosed in February with an a1c of 9.1 and random sugars at 225 which would spike to 400 or so. I started an extremely intensive exercise regimen and cut out most carbs and numbers started acting more normal as long as I avoided carbs. I could have a carby meal once a week or so but if I strung them together the numbers would be a bit higher for several days. In May they did my first official a1c after diagnosis and it was 5.4, which was in line with the 5.7 home test I'd done and following the trend of the 7.1 home test I'd done 1.5 months in.
I lost a lot of weight - around 50 pounds - and gradually introduced more normal carbs back into my diet, but in moderation. I've also reduced my exercise to a more normal daily regimen of an hour or so on a bike (I was doing 3 or 4 hours a day for a while). Suddenly this week I am finding my numbers dropping pretty substantially - even to a point that would usually be considered too low - when eating, even carby meals.
A few days ago I had a Chinese buffet then burgers and fries with two regular (not keto) buns and tonight again fries and sandwiches with regular buns. That's after a regular English muffin breakfast sandwich this morning and another this afternoon.
(Your first reaction may be, "what the heck is a diabetic eating like that for?" to which I'd respond, "yeah, fair question!" The short answer is that the buffet was a treat for my kids, and everything else that followed was bascially unusual set of circumstances this week [end of school-year stuff at work for one thing] which I took advantage of to "test" my reaction after seeing what happened with the buffet).
The point is I have been getting numbers in the 70s this week after eating these things and tonight checking a few hours after the sandwiches and fries I was at 66.
I'm ONLY on metformin - no insulin supplementation or anything else. I have been told metformin would not cause lows but am starting to get a little concerned and am unsure how to proceed.
I will likely ask the doctor about this, but I'm looking here for any feedback from others who have had similar experiences with seeing their numbers/function return to a more normal state. When I had the 5.4 a1c I had already tried asking the doctor if there was anything to watch out for in terms of possible "ill effects" from the metformin if my system was starting to operate in a better manner on its own, but she didn't really have much of an answer. Based on what she (and others there) have said I don't think the hospital/practice have much experience of people getting things so well under control.

A week after having my baby I went to my doctors appointment to find out my post partum weight was 191 pounds. I’m only 5’2” and I gained about 52 pounds during my pregnancy.
Definitely not ideal but what can you do? My sweet handsome little boy was worth it.
Over the last few weeks, I have been very mindful of my caloric intake, I’ve been trying to stay active and eat healthy foods with clean ingredients.
I was convinced I had lost at least 10 pounds because I’ve noticed changes in the mirror as well. But I started a six week boot camp today and weighed in for the first time in three months and it was appalled to see that I am 193 pounds.
I guess this post is kind of a rant, but also looking to hear from others on their experience. Did anyone else have trouble shedding pounds in the early postpartum months? I didn’t think baby weight would be this hard to lose

After a healthy but awful pregnancy [thanks, baby daddy] I decided to come home to Louisiana at 38 weeks pregnant for an alleged "support system", but must have forgotten that my family is mostly dysfunctional and toxic and that's why I moved away.
The TLDR is that I absolutely CANNOT last 1 week postpartum before I head back home to Florida. These people are bad for my mental health and probably physical too tbh. There's no space, trifling people, excessive noise, and I'm just generally more uncomfortable than I thought I would be.
I'm not quite certain what I was thinking but I've been here two days and I'm already thinking I should head home. I'll tough it out, but there's nothing stopping me from just going once I get discharged from the hospital.
I'll be stopping hourly and don't mind getting a hotel 200 miles/3.5 hours into my 575 mile/8 hour trip. I'm getting a ring sing locally since I left mine at home and will walk and nurse at rest stops. I've got a cushion for my soon-to-be swollen vag and my spirit [and the airman within] say just do it.
What say ye this plan? It's risky, ik.
I figure rural moms might have to travel 45 minutes to an hour or more before they get home and they're all right lol. I also figure that the hard work will be worth it in the end if I could just get to my own bed and bathroom. I've got a sibling that I can maybe fly down from Florida to help me drive back, but our last road trip resulted in six months of silence and I REALLY should only use family as an absolutely last resort.
Tips?

​
https://preview.redd.it/xbbmvwk05y2b1.jpg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=116c1a4c80219604524cc4a321c8086cdb93a5a7
if ANYONE is interested send me a message on Fiverr
==> https://bazarcom.org/Biahezacourse
NEW COURSES (Included when buying my whole collection!):
· ⭐Iman Gadzhi – Agency Navigator 2023
· ⭐Sam Ovens - Consulting Accelerator 2023
· ⭐Cole Gordon – 30 Day Closer
· ⭐Montell Gordon - Agency Transmulation
· ⭐Charlie Morgan - Easygrow Course
· ⭐Sebastian Esqueda - Ecom Revolution
· ⭐Biaheza Droppshiping Course 2023
· Andrew Tate – Courses Bundle
· Charlie Morgan - Imperium Agency
· Charlie Morgan - Gym Growth Accelerator
· Biaheza - Full Dropshipping Course 2023
· Jordan Welch - The Reveal 2023
· Savannah Sanchez - TikTok Ads Course 2023
· Iman Gadzhi - Copy Paste Agency
· Sam Ovens - UpLevel Consulting
· Miles – The FBA Roadmap + The Profit Vault
· Andrew Giorgi – Amazon Dropshipping Course
· Sebastian Esqueda – Ecom Revolution Training Program
· Luca Netz – Advanced Dropshipping 2023
· Kevin King – Freedom Ticket 3.0
· Jordan Platten – LearnAds – Facebook Ads Pro 2023
· Miles – The FBA Roadmap + The Profit Vault
· Dan Vas – Ecom Freedom Shopify Blueprint 2023
· Alexander J.A Cortes - WiFi Money Machine
· Kody Knows - Native Mastery
· Bastiaan Slot - Six Figure Consulting
· Kaibax - Centurion agency
· Joe Robert - Print On Demand Accelerator
· Ryan Hogue - Ryan's Method Dropshipped POD
· Kevin Zhang - Ecommerce Millionaire Mastery
· Ryan Lee – 48 Hour Continuity
· [METHOD] ⚡️TikTok Algorithm Domination Skyrocket your engagement TODAY Updated 2023✨
· Troy Ericson – Email List Management Certification
· Larry Goins – Filthy Riches Home Study Course
· Ry Schwartz – Automated Intimacy
· Patrick Bet-David – All Access Bundle
· Andrea Unger – Master the Code & Go LIVE
· Jon Benson – 10 Minute Sales Letter
· Alen Sultanic – Automatic Clients & Bonuses
· Taylor Welch – Cashflow for Consultants
· Akeem Reed – Slingshot Rental Blueprint
· The Futur Greg Gunn – Illustration for Designers
· Trading180 – Supply And Demand Zone Trading Course
· Jim McKelvey (Foundr) – How To Build An Unbeatable Business
· Master of AI Copy – Copy School by Copyhackers
· Copyhackers – Copy School 2023
· Matei – Gann Master Forex Course
· YOYAO Hsueh – Topical Maps Unlocked
· Tyler McMurray – Facts Verse Youtube Automation Course
· Ashton Shanks – 7 Day Copywriting Challenge Featuring ChatGPT
· Rene Lacad – Rockstar Marketing Blueprint
· Top Trade Tools – Hedge Fund Trender
· Brandi Mowles – Conversion For Clients
· Glen Allsopp – SEO Blueprint 2 (DETAILED)
· Trading Busters – Prop Trading Formula Course
· Sam Woods – The AI Copywriting Workshop (Complete Edition)
· Brian Anderson – Recovery Profit System
· LOW COMPETITION KEYWORDS IN MINUTES ⚡ 70+ REVIEWS ✅ BONUS PDF WORTH $200+
· Devon Brown – Easiest System Ever
· Duston McGroarty – St. Patrick’s Day 2023 Live Event
· Dan Wardrope – Click & Deploy Sales Android
· Lost Boys Academy – How To Make Life Changing Money With OnlyFans!
· WealthFRX Trading Mastery Course 2.0
· TOM & HARRY – Digital Culture Academy
· 100+ Cold Email Templates
· [METHOD] ✅ Make Real Cash with Auto Blogging ⛔Get $1199 Worth of Resources ❌ CUSTOMIZED SECRET PROCESS⚡DONE FOR YOU SITE ⭐ Unlimited Niche Opportunity & So on
· Tobias Dahlberg – Brand Mastery
· Raul Gonzalez – Day Trading Institution 2.0
· Rasmus & Christian Mikkelsen –Impact Academy 2023
· [METHOD] ☢️ The Quick eBay Money Loophole Guide ☢️
· Apteros Trading – March 2023 Intensive
· Rob Lennon – Zero to 10k Twitter Accelerator
· Rob Lennon – Next-Level Prompt Engineering with AI
· Rasmus & Christian Mikkelsen – NEW Audiobook Income Academy Download
· Grow and Convert – Customers From Content
· Charles Miller – The Writersonal Branding Playbook
· Kaye Putnam – Convert with a Quiz
· Forex Mentor – London Close Trade 2.0
· Chase Reiner – Fortune Bots Update 1
· Andrew Ethan Zeng – Social Marketing Mastery
· [Method] Upload FULL, 100% Unedited Copyrighted Videos on Youtube! Content ID DESTROYER!
· Digital Daily – Top 150 ChatGPT Prompts to Make your Life Easy
· Patek Fynnip – Psychology Course
· Thomas Frank – Creator’s Companion (Ultimate Brain Edition)
· [METHOD] ⚡ See the MAGIC of Bulk Posting ✨ Untapped Method ✅ [ BONUS ChatGpt and Affiliate list Pdf]✅
· ⭕️ YouTube Content Machine – Unlimited FREE traffic for CPA – Fully Automated Method ⭕️
· Jakob Greenfeld – Scraping The Web For Fun and Profit
· Adrian Twarog – OpenAI Template Starter Kit for ChatGPT / GPT3
· The Secret Merchants List of Over 2000+ Dropshippers and Amazon FBA Suppliers Based in The US
· Top Trade Tools – Top Swing Trader Pro
· Charlie Houpert – Charisma University 2023
· ▶️ [METHOD + GUIDE] ✅ Make Money ✅ with Kindle Books ⚠️ Even if You Can’t Write ⚠️ [STEP-BY-STEP] ⚡ NO INVESTMENT REQUIRED! ⚡
· Charlie Morgan – Easy Grow
· Nina Clapperton – Jasper AI Course for Bloggers
· Travis Stephenson – Simple Profit System
· Manny Khoshbin – Real Estate Starter Program
· Tanner Henkel & Jerrod Harlan – 7-Figure Email Machine
· [METHOD] Stop Wasting Money on AI Writers Train And Fine-Tune Your Own AI For Free With No Code ⚡⚡⚡Real Method & Practice Examples ⚡⚡
· Creator Hooks – YouTube Title Mastery
· Thomas Frank – Creator’s Companion (Ultimate Brain Edition)
· Sean Dollwet – Royalty Hero
· Jason Bell – Birthday Marketing Formula
· NXT Level FX – Investors Domain
· [METHOD] ⏩ My ETSY $40K~ Passive Income 2023 + HOT Products (Earning Proof) ⏪ Make Money No Marketing Easy $40K~ Guide FOR NOOBS ✅
· Rob Jones & Gerry Cramer – Profit Singularity Ultra Edition 2022 (AI & ChatGPT)
· Cody Wittick & Taylor Lagace – The Influencer Marketing Blueprint
· ⚡️➡️$390/Week BLUEPRINT+PROOF✅Scalable Method❤️Amazon to eBay Dropship✅
· Kody Ashmore – Simpler Trading – Drama Free Day Trades ELITE
· Youri van Hofwegen – YouTube Search Automation
· Montell Gordon – Agency Transmutation
· Csaba Borzasi – Breakthrough Conversions Academy
· Tim Denning – Twitter Badassery
· Geoff Cudd – AI Writing Course for Bloggers & Digital Marketers
· RED CPA FORMULA – UNTAPPED UNDERGROUND CPA SYSTEM
· BowtiedCocoon – Zero to $100k: Landing Any Tech Sales Role
· Holly Starks – Make LINK BUILDING Great Again!
· Mike Warren – Deeds4Cash
· BITCOIN BRITS – The Crypto Course
· Max Gilles – ⚡️☄️ UHQ Leak ❤️CPA JACKER – Epic CPA Blueprint✅⚡️
· Aidan Booth & Steve Clayton – 123 Profit Update 9
· Christina Galbato – The Influencer Bootcamp
· John Thornhill – Ambassador Program
· [Sales] 999+ Ultimate ChatGPT Prompts To Copy & Paste (250+ tasks)
· Pollinate Trading – Curvy Trading System
· Content Mavericks – The Greatest Hits Content System
· Andriy Boychuk – Flowium – Klaviyo Mastery 2.0
· Dagobert Renouf – How To Dominate Twitter (Advanced Growth Bundle)
· Darius Lukas – ⭐ The Marketer’s Bible to ChatGPT ✅ 1000+ ChatGPT Prompts to Copy, Paste & Scale
· Billy Gene – 5 Day A.I. Crash Course for Marketers
· Alex Cattoni – Posse Eye Brand Voice Challenge Program
· Casey Zander – YouTube Fame Game Blueprint
· Harlan Kilstein – Midjourney Mastery
· Shawna Newman – YouTube for Niche Sites
· [Marketing] 1099+ Ultimate ChatGPT Marketing Prompts To Copy & Paste (200+ tasks)
· Karen Foo – Star Traders Forex Intermediate Course
· TheMacLyf – Hive Mind & Masterclass (Onlyfans Course)
· Brittany Lewis – Top Seller Secret
· Dan Henry – Facebook Ads for Entrepreneur
· Russ Horn – Ultra Blue Forex
· Scott Phillips – Crypto Salary System
· Roland Frasier – AI Powered Expert Apprentice + Update 1
· Roger & Barry – Give Academy 1k/Day Platinum Mastermind [COMPLETE with LATEST UPDATE]
· Bretty Curry (Smart Marketer) – Smart Amazon Ecommerce
· Steven Dux – Traders Edge 2023
· Aidan Booth & Steve Clayton – 123 Profit
· Allie Bjerk – Tiny Offer Lab
· Dicke Bush – Generate 10x More Content Using AI
· Mateusz Rutkowski – New Money Blueprint
· Smart Raja Concepts (SRC) – Forex 101
· Chase Reiner – Short Form Riches Bootcamp 2023 – AI ChatGPT Bot Update 3
· Chase Reiner – AI Profits
· Travis Sago – Cold Outreach & Prospecting AMA Offer (Best Value with All Bonuses)
· Live Traders – Professional Trading Strategies
· Allan Dib – The 1-Page Marketing Plan Course
· Dan Koe – Digital Economics Masters Degree
· The Trading Guide – The Gold Box Strategy
· The Complete XAUUSD GOLD Forex Scalping System On Real Trading Account
if ANYONE is interested send me a message on Fiverr
==> https://bazarcom.org/Biahezacourse

Hello. I, (24M) have been an electrician apprentice for the last 4 ½ years. I got into the trades when I was 19, almost 20, and I've been in it ever since! So far, the career has been fairly decent to me, as well as having its times like any other occupation I'm sure. 4 years of school for $35 an hour wasn't what I thought it was, though, especially for the time having to be put into the field. Being in the trades, I've realized that you either love to work, or work for someone who does.
My wife and I became wedded last May, and we now have a baby boy! My little family has made me realize how often I want to be with them, not working 65+ hour week, sometimes out of state at that. I'm currently testing out for my journeymans as we speak, and decided that it is probably the best time to make a career change if I'm going to, and have my JE to fall back on if ever need be.
I got accepted into a Bootcamp for coding, which is the career path I've been wanting to get into for awhile now. It started because I wanted to program electrical equipment, but didn't want to spend the time away from my family due to traveling that those jobs usually require.
I later discovered that coding was essentially programming, applied for a 6 month boot camp, and was accepted. I could make everything work even with my current schedule until completion, but for some reason, I'm having cold feet coming so close to making the transition. Is it worth it? What are some of the pros and cons of coding, and is it more of a work balanced career? Is it a smart decision if at all?
Any advice is appreciated!

[First] - [Previous] - [[Next]]
New Terran Refugee (Pt - 20) : An NOP fanfic
Thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for letting people write fanfics.
This is just a fanfic of course.
This chapter went through several iterations, I might have let myself think I could release it 1 week late (and failed). Also, I might have gotten sidetracked with other non-writing thing, oops.
TL;DR:
“OOPS! All Rewrites! And side projects!” – Me
In any case, here’s the chapter:
Memory transcription subject: Tayla, Venlil Widow
Date [standardized human time]: October 18, 2136
The first thing I became aware of was that I had awoken enveloping a richly warm pillow with a soft surface from above, and that not only was it hot but that it was also soft and squishy but without too much give, in fact it was somehow firmer below the surface, I snuggled closer to the material that was emanating heat below me and drove off my mind’s attempts at waking me up, this was too blissful an experience to stop suddenly.
The second thing I became aware of was that I didn’t remember replacing my heated pillow as the cold wind season was still expected to be a good deal of time away and that I had much more important things to spend my limited budget on.
The third thing I became aware of was that I wasn’t hugging a pillow, this only happened when I noticed that it wasn’t moving because I was snuggling into it, but rather moving in a steady motion against me, like when someone breathes while asleep.
The fourth thing I became aware of, were the memories of what led me into this situation ‘Just gonna close my eyes for a moment’; Why did I lie to myself like that?
The final thing I became aware of snapped me out of my musings, it was the reason I woke up, and the reason I had crashed so hard into sleepiness.
The consequence of drinking copious amounts of [shade root] tea to keep watch over Jorge until I could call the number in the email during the schedule it had included beneath itself, this was made worse by the cans of ‘Twilight Energy’ I had drank at the end when more drastic measures had to be taken.
I couldn’t ignore it I couldn’t help but feel the pressure mounting inside my bladder as I peeled myself off from on top of Jorge. Why did I move so much while asleep?
Oh Protector, I missed his warmth already…
I made a mental note to look into repairing my heated pillow for cheap due to a sudden urge to sleep with something warm more frequently, the abrupt thought jogging loose some memories about contact information of some local repairvenlil I’d called before for one reason or another, along with the memory of the number I called before… napping with Jorge…
A great feeling of chagrin manifested along with my bloom while closing Jorge’s bathroom door behind me as I remembered the text beneath the schedule, ‘Extended working hours during emergency situations’, the aftermath of antimatter bombing definitely applied… especially since that Mrs. Bennet sounded so exhausted so soon after the supposed start of her work claw.
I decided to chalk up my lapse in judgement to have been due to how Jorge’s expression before he sealed himself in had left my thoughts racing and heart pounding in worry over him.
With my thoughts somewhat settled, I examined the strange toilet that had been installed, before throwing caution to the winds when the urgency I felt reasserted itself with force.
…
After closing the lid and washing my paws, I finally found what had to be the equivalent of the pulley and chain, a small, recessed button parted into 2 asymmetric parts on the top middle part behind the seat.
I pressed both parts at the same time just in case.
FWOOOSH
A small eep escaped me but was drowned out by the noises that were still coming from the strange toilet!
Finally, the ruckus ended, letting me calm down from the unexpected loudness. Wait, did that noise wak-
THUNK THUNK THUNK
A bigger eep escaped me as I jumped a little into the air; However this time it wasn’t drowned out by another noise.
“¿you ok in there?” I could barely make out Jorge’s voice through the door, like he was putting in the barest effort needed to speak.
“Y-yeah, j-just startled…” I opened the door as I trailed off, a sudden realization had me asking him a question, “I guess I know how It felt w-when I s-startled you h-huh?”
His normally expressive face remained still, the only reaction to my attempt at lightening the mood a brief exhale from his nose; He simply slipped past me as I left the bathroom and muttered something I didn’t quite hear just before shutting the door softly.
I went back to the bed and turned on his pad, after a few seconds of waiting for it to turn on, and a few more waiting for my translator to parse the strange [date and time] format the humans used (Honestly, who separated the [hours] and the [days/months] like that?) I felt a bit of relief as I sank a bit into the still warm bed.
According to the pad, I’d just taken a short nap, I still had plenty of time until my children came back home, hopefully I had enough time to actually have some kind of talk with Jorge.
I’d have to somehow get him to talk about last Paw’s… reaction of his, and find a way to convince him to talk about his family, It’d be good for him to recognize that pain, maybe he’d even hold onto it like me…
^FWOOOSH
That thing that the humans called a toilet interrupted my train of thought before I could do more than think of the barest of ways I could breeze into such heavy topics, the small delay between the toilet’s sound, the groaning of water travelling to the faucet, and the door opening wasn’t even enough to get back on my mind’s [zephyr].
A quick focus on Jorge’s face made my determination start to breeze away a bit, it was much easier to think of how to talk to him when I couldn’t see just how heavily everything [to wear down like a long strong gale would] on him.
Jorge deflated slightly but visibly at how I apparently froze up at the sight of him.
“well, thanks, i… feel better, you can just… leave me be for now”
Jorge stood still, averting his eyes from me until he shrugged strangely after turning to look at the barricade, he then shuffled over and started to shift it to the side a bit, evidently wishing to put it back in place after I left.
“ah” he cleared his throat, “sorry, you can leave now” he returned to averting his eyes from looking at me and awkwardly motioned towards the wide opening he had made after dragging the barricade as he stepped away morosely.
“Jorge.” I paused to breathe; I’d managed to huff out his name just as I needed to exhale.
Jorge stood still for a moment before tentatively focusing on me, a strangely vulnerable expression sat on his face.
I patted the bed (an appropriate and proper distance away from me) with my tail before curling it away from the spot, he seemed to get the message and soon he had sat down beside me, brief moment of hesitation notwithstanding.
I turned my head towards him as I’d seen him do when talking, he flinched a little when his eyes met mine, closing them and averting his face, I reached out for his nearby claw with my tail and put it down gently on top.
I waited patiently for him to start talking; Thankfully the wait was short.
“this… ¿is this about… my reaction yesterday?”
“Yes,” I squeezed down on his claw softly with my tail in a comforting gesture, “I wanted to speak with you about that sooner, but for now…” another gentle squeeze, “I’m just glad you seem to be doing a little bit better.”
Silence enveloped us as Jorge seemed to mull over what I’d just said.
A small hint of a hunch had me examining him more closely, it seemed he was anxiously waiting for me to talk some more.
I chastised myself internally, ‘Of course he wasn’t going to be feeling very talkative…’, how could someone jump straight into talking about such a topic? It’d probably be better to start with other stuff and gauge things from there; With that my mind sifted through possible topics until one stood out.
“S-so, I kind of… used up a lot of your powdered ingredients… heh…” I took in his features, he seemed halfway here and halfway far away.
Maybe… Maybe if I somehow mentioned the call to remind him that there were more humans he could try talking to? Just in case he was getting tired of my clumsy attempts at talking with him…
“I, uh, didn’t think of asking Mrs. Bennet about their availability when I called her this Paw, s-sorry about that… b-but I’m sure they’ll get some more that you can use soon, right?”
That got a reaction, a small one, out of him; His eyes widened. It… felt wrong.
“o-oh, well, i’d better get started packing then…”
An impossibly heavy weight settled deep inside my stomach as he moved his claw out from under my frozen tail tip, my throat clenched up as Jorge got up and limply started wading to his bag.
I stared in mute horror as he dumped his clean body coverings into it, trying to communicate anything to him, and failing miserably as the sheer disbelief of just how horribly I had miscommunicated kept me frozen, while the pain and betrayal I could imagine him feeling kept my mind reeling.
He stopped just as he reached his bag, his claws clenched for a moment before he unclenched them slowly and turned around to look directly at me.
He’d shed more tears, his eyes were an ugly and fresher shade of red.
“y-you were waiting down here for me to wake up again just to have this conversation as soon as possible. ¿am i right?”
Th-this wasn’t supposed to go like this!
“I… I was-”
“I!” interrupted Jorge with an elevated tone of voice, “…Earlier, I woke up and went back to sleep a few times, I could see you sitting on the stairs, sometimes you and your pad would be missing, I kept thinking that maybe you were worried about me ¿you know?”
“I-” An intense look from him kept the rest of my response in my head; ‘I was!’ I wanted to plead.
“I guess you didn’t plan for me falling asleep after crying…” He trailed off and seemed to go into deep thought for a moment, before his eyes narrowed dangerously. “¿Did you just bring me that Atole to soften the blow?” He held up one of his claws towards me while making a stabbing motion with it, his voice came out as a much lower growl than normal from him. “¿Or was putting me to sleep part of the plan?”
My face felt as if I’d been hit by an icy gale. ‘Did he just insinua-?’
“You’re fucking heartless.” That last sentence from him was punctuated by a fresh set of tears from his eyes, though no sobbing came from him as he let himself fall backwards down onto the floor, like a puppet with its strings suddenly cut.
My heart was beating wildly, and my eyes stung from the horrible accusations that he was making, and from how I’d probably be doing just what he had said if this had happened a few days ago…
I gave myself a moment to recollect myself, I’d thought similar enough things when I was alone in the hospital after losing my family, not nearly as extreme but… my circumstances back then and his right now weren’t comparable.
I shuddered internally at how much worse I’d have fared if it had been Venlil Prime that had been attacked; I’d probably… I’d have tried to do what he tried last night…
With a sigh I focused consciously on Jorge, who was breathing a bit more steadily now, as I picked up the bottle and moved steadily towards his alert gaze.
I sat down in front of him and opened the bottle, he narrowed his eyes even further in response, making the redness and glistening more pronounced, the patches of fur above his eyes changed position as well; I didn’t quite know what it meant, but it couldn’t possibly have been from him feeling happy or at peace.
I pushed through the sense of fear that was starting to form from being under his stare and took in the rest of his body language… I readjusted my position and observed as he flinched away from me…
I slowly raised the bottle and drank; The patches of fur over his eyes returned to their normal position, overshot and stayed raised while the intensity of his stare diminished. Finally, he tilted his head ever so slightly.
After a few gulps more I stopped drinking and offered him the bottle, he still wasn’t accepting it; I wiped my lips and prepared to speak.
“…I wouldn’t do that to you…” A small quiver at the end made me trail off until I was certain my voice wouldn’t fail me. I wouldn’t do that now. “None of those things, I mean… Even after all I did… You gave me a chance…”
“When you put it like that…” Jorge wiped his eyes. “I mean, I don’t know what came over me…” He looked to the side and deflated a little.
“I understand… I was like this too…” A small shiver traveled through my spine, thinking about it always did… I ignored the shiver by standing up and offering him the bottle again, this time he grabbed it and drank deeply.
He trailed behind me, we sat down on opposite sides of the bed, him hugging his legs as he sat against the wall, and me with one leg over the edge of the bed with the other one crossed over it.
Dozens of starting points were flurrying in my head, I couldn’t decide on one, so I cleared my throat and let myself say whatever came out first.
“I’m married.” Jorge became extremely visibly confused. “I-I’m a Widow, I meant to say…” The familiar sting of pain grounded me as his expression changed into one I could recognize even from him, pity.
“He-” died “…It happened 11 years ago, I… I lost my family at the same time…”
Jorge’s expression softened even more, no longer out of pity, but out of understanding… of the pain we shared…
“It was my dad’s idea, he’s always wanted to have a big family homestead… when the latest batch of colonies were finally cleared for habitation he bought a plot immediately, my sister and her husband went with them first, then my brother and his wife, and finally me and…”
This whole talking thing was much harder than I thought… I cleared my throat; I couldn’t go on just omitting any names in my retelling…
“Krayla, that’s my mother’s name.” I paused, waiting for his reaction, he ‘nodded’ slowly, solemnly. “Tavk’io, my dad; Talnum, my b-brother; Tahyiya, m-my sister; …a-and Glim, m-my husband…”
I buried my head in my paws, this was too much…
A moment passed, I felt something brush against my tail; Opening my eyes I saw that it was Jorge’s claw, he patted the tip gently until his eyes met mine.
“Emiliano José Cauich Ayala, t-that’s my father’s name.” He paused to breathe and wiped his eyes. “Ixchel Paola Rojas Canul, that’s my mother’s name.”
We stayed in silence for a while longer, at least in my case recovering from the emotional toll that I had just gone through.
“S-shortly after we arrived at the colony,” I began. “I l-learned I was p-pregnant, G-Glim and I celebrated it with my family, we were going to name our baby after my brother and his wife, Kiyomi. It… It was something we had all come up with [years] before, everything was going just like we had dreamed and talked so much about…”
I squeezed my tail against myself, all those nights at the colony laughing and joking with each other about increasingly outlandish names (ones that we’d never use of course), gone just like that…
“G-Glim and Talnum were busy helping the colony expand by clearing new plots for development and as buffer zones, I helped around with Taylee and Talim when needed but I helped dad with the house most of the time; There were always things that needed to be taken care of after all. Th-then one day in the colony, I f-fainted while picking up Taylee and Talim from school, a f-few [weeks] after that… I had to be sent back here since the colony’s hospital had lost their last equipment shipment to an Arxur raid.” I paused and lowered my voice. “G-Glim stayed behind to take extra assignments, t-to cover expenses, h-he… he was… he was on his last pawful of shifts b-before leave wh-when…”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“…D-dad was at home looking after the kids, he’d sprained his leg while doing some maintenance, he called me early in the morning there, Talnum and Glim were in some kind of assignment together, and my mother had taken everyone else to get stuff from the market to prepare a farewell meal f-for Glim…” And after that… “The call disconnected abruptly, it had happened before so I… I j-joked to m-myself a-and the nurse that it was p-probably j-just the signal failing because I wasn’t there to maintain things p-properly…”
Tears started forming in my eyes again, Jorge shuffled closer, put his soft claw on my shoulder and gave a light squeeze, his warmth spread throughout me.
“…A few claws later I learnt the truth, that the colony had been raided and that the shelter had been breached, shortly after that, I… I lost my…” I did my best to look him directly in his eyes. “After that… I started planning how to get to the hospital’s roof…” There, a glint of recognition and pain in his eyes. “I was just waiting for the rescue fleet to finish up there, just in case, thankfully… my dad hid Taylee and Talim in one of the [Kitchen] cabinets after taking down the family pictures, since he couldn’t take them to the shelter, he… Taylee told me that he… he begged her to keep quiet before closing the cabinet. She stayed in there with Talim for I don’t even know how long… She… She hasn’t talked about it ever again.”
Another squeeze, then silence and cold as he retracted his claw back towards him, his face turning to another side while taking on some kind of thoughtful intensity.
“S-So… What I’ve been trying to say was… I kind of understand what you’re going through… A-and if you want to talk… I-I’m here?”
A small ‘nod’, and more silence. My eyes were beginning to feel heavy again, that nap hadn’t been enough it seemed.
Jorge harrumphed, causing a bolt of wakefulness to course through me as he began speaking, filling in the silence that had fallen on the room.
“…I don’t think I’m ready yet…” His face turned towards me once more. “But… thank you, for sharing, and for worrying about me, I… If you hadn’t been there when I drifted into and out of sleep…” His eyes widened in a flash. “Wait. ¿You haven’t slept right? ¿Are you feeling OK?”
“I-I t-took a nap after you f-fell asleep…” B-beneath him… “Y-you left a lot of space…” He did, but I couldn’t get to it from under his legs…
“Good, good…” His eyes flicked between me and the door. “Well… I suppose you’ve got stuff to do now. ¿Am I right?” Somehow, the expression that sat now on his face felt forced in a way. I kept quiet as I rummaged through my memories of The Aftermath.
Of course, he was trying to get me out to wallow in peace, just as I did…
That was the last thing he needed right now.
I needed to find a way to get him out of this room…
“Actually… I’m free until my kids get back, I’m used to taking care of chores quickly.”
“Right…” Jorge seemed to slowly steel himself, if I didn’t interrupt me, he’d just ask me to leave directly…
I tried to think faster, but the drowsiness was returning in force, it was no use… Unless…
“H-Hey!” My exclamation startled him, I pressed on to keep the momentum strong. “I uh, I kind of went through my whole supply of [shade root] tea to stay awake…” I didn’t. “And… I don’t really want to drink more energy drinks this Paw, I don’t suppose you have something to stay awake with you?”
Jorge blinked, again, once more, and again one last time before responding.
“¿I… think I have some coffee I could make?” He tilted his head adorably to one side as he scratched his head with one claw.
“Sounds perfect! Would you please make me some?” I stood up before he could even answer, reached for his idle claw and tugged at it towards me; He stood up in what seemed like a daze out of reflex.
We spent the next few [minutes] browsing the intact shelf, whatever this coffee was, it wasn’t there, the tentatively positive mood that had formed cracked a little as Jorge looked at the shelf barricade before he trudged over to it, stopping beside it where he gestured at vaguely with his claw.
We stepped past the barricade, tried not to look at each other, failed, shuffled in place for a moment and began sifting through the items strewn about the floor in an unspoken agreement.
It wasn’t long until I found myself holding a container that my translator insisted was labeled ‘Instant Coffee’. “Hey,” I started while turning, “is this the ri-” Jorge was looking intensely at something on the floor, I followed his gaze and saw it, the broken remains of the flame projector.
“J-Jorge?” I extended my tail cautiously towards his arm, his claws ceased to strain against themselves following the subtle flinch he had when the tip of my tail made contact with him.
I gave him the ‘Instant Coffee’ I was holding and scooped up the remains to dispose of them properly this time; Jorge held up the container and murmured an affirmation at me, I gestured for him to lead the way and proceeded to follow him to the [kitchen].
I raced my way directly to the trash container, separated the single-use fuel cannister from the remains I was holding, and dumped the inert bits inside; I’d have to take this last part to a proper disposal collection point in town some other time. For now, I glanced at Jorge and tucked it into a discreet spot in the cabinets when he wasn’t looking. Only after that did I notice what a mess I’d made up here despite my best efforts at cleaning up…
Jorge’s eyes were scanning all over the [kitchen], taking in every splotch, every spill and every crusted over utensil I’d used, he lingered noticeably longer on the open and haphazardly arranged containers of his that I had used, finally he stared at the Vanilla Extract bottle with a soft expression, it was the only container that had remained completely spotless and didn’t have a significant amount of its contents drained.
Yet another unreadable expression had settled on his face as he took a big pot and barely put any water in it, the other more reasonably sized ones just too dirty to deal with quickly, before putting it to boil on the [stove top].
“Uh…” He shifted his weight from one leg to the other a few times. “I… never did thank you for the drink earlier ¿Didn’t I?”
“N-no but there’s no ne-”
The patches of fur above his eyes furrowed together.
“You… mentioned before that you entered the program for money…” He looked confused. “¿Why didn’t you just… ask for me to be picked up? You’d have gotten someone else in no time… Hell, I’d still understand if you did it now. You don’t have to go through all this trouble for me.” The confused expression deepened as he gestured at the messy remains around us.
“…”
He was waiting for an answer.
“I… w-well I d-did enter for the money… b-but… I don’t want to just replace you… I like being around you. I d-don’t know if we’re there yet… But I’d like to be… f-friends! W-with you someday…” Oh Protector, I couldn’t be more obvious unless I just came out and said it…
“Well for what it’s worth… Thank you Tayla, you don’t know what that means to me right now.” He was looking directly at me, with raw emotion and palpable aliveness, my face started to feel as if I was standing under sunlight…
“I-It was the l-least I could d-do…” It was worth it even though he didn’t seem to understand quite what I accidentally meant before…
I was spared from further embarrassment by the pot of water sizzling violently behind Jorge who turned around in a blur to turn the heat off, while he did that I grabbed two (clean) mugs and set them down near him, though I didn’t move my paws quite fast enough as his claw brushed against me while he moved the mugs closer to him to pour the water on them.
He let the water cool down a little as he put his sugar and ‘Instant Coffee’ containers close to the mugs; He poured the less-than-boiling water into the mugs, stirred in a measure of ‘Instant Coffee’ and a measure of sugar as well.
He passed me a mug with a cryptic warning. “If it’s not to your taste, let me know.” Then he grabbed the other one, sipped a little and waited.
The mischievous glint in his eyes left me no choice, I’d have to play along for now; I raised the mug and sipped…
SPEH
WHY WAS EVERYTHING THESE HUMANS HAD SO BITTER?
I futilely attempted to remove the grimace from my face; Strangely, the roar of laughter I expected was nowhere to be heard, I found myself looking at Jorge with some amount of concern, though the clear, if understated, smile he sported calmed me down somewhat.
Wordlessly, Jorge reached for my mug and the can of powdered coconut milk, he then proceeded to mix in a little of it in both mugs, turning the liquid from a dark oily brown to a much lighter tone. Finally he mixed in a single drop of his Vanilla Extract in each mug and gave me back mine.
I gave him the best glare I could manage as I pouted at him, he took a deep drink from his own mug and held it up for me to examine.
With a sigh I tried mine again.
Warm. Flowery. Smooth. Bitter but not too much, like a perfectly harvested root. But most importantly of all, I could feel myself waking slightly more already, whether it was just self-suggestion or the drink having an effect so soon I couldn’t tell.
Once more, the reaction I expected from Jorge was missing, this time he seemed to be lost in thought, staring at a distant point in the air.
I took a moment to examine him, whatever he was thinking, it was starting to fester. It’d be better to get him talking “What’s wrong?” I asked.
“It’s no-” He shook his head. “It’s just… I… my dad… he liked to drink his without adding anything, no sugar, no… coconut milk…, and… me and mom used to tease him about it…” He was retreating into himself once more.
I kept drinking my coffee; There had to be something else I could talk with him about…
Jorge straightened up, something about his posture, about the way he held himself had changed.
“Say… Tayla… ¿Can I ask you for a favor?” Despite the confidence he exuded he was running one of his claws over the back of his mug repeatedly.
“W-what kind of favor?”
“There’s something I want, no, something I need to make for the end of the [month], and… I’m going to need your help getting the stuff, I’d just ask you to get it all for me, but honestly that wouldn’t be right.”
“O-ok, but you still haven’t told me what the favor is?”
“I need to buy flowers, candles, a good tablecloth, and see what dishes I can actually make here that’d be good enough.”
“W-What for?” W-Was he? My heart was beating wildly in a peculiar mix of elation, nervousness and apprehension.
“I’m going to make an Altar for Day of the Dead (Día de Muertos), it’s the least I can do for my family all the way over here.”
W-
Wh-
WHAT?

My little girl is 10 months old, and has been going to this daycare center since she was 14 weeks. In that time, she had two different lead teachers… the second of which she absolutely adored. As you might’ve guessed, that teacher just left about a week ago. Since then, it’s been a revolving door of workers in her room, which I already don’t love… but today she only got 4 oz of milk in a 6.5 hour day. I genuinely do not understand and am livid. I sent 3 bottles of breastmilk and two were sent home, so I know it’s not like they just forgot to log her feed or something. She only got one small nap as well, and was exhausted and screaming when Dad picked her up this afternoon.
There are a lot more little details that make this more infuriating, but I’m really wondering how to handle this? We already had plans to pull her from the center when she turns one because we don’t want her in the next room. I am struggling to think of a not-mean way to say: why the fuck didn’t you feed my baby?

July 7th Excerpt From the Journal of Violet Stone
​
I don’t remember much. Just the scenery flying by me as I ran from the train station. I didn’t see anyone chasing me. But I felt chased. I didn’t know what to think, what to feel, or even where the hell I was going. The only thing I felt was fear.
​
When I finally stopped, it was because I just couldn’t run any further. My lungs burned, begging me for air. So I ducked into an alley, trying to catch my breath, and organize my thoughts. The rain pounding down around me was too loud. The street was too quiet and every car that passed by sent another fresh jolt of terror through me as I replayed what had happened at the train station over and over again in my mind. The way that he’d fallen, the look on his face in the instant before he’d gone under the train. Oh God… I couldn’t get it out of my head! I couldn’t stop seeing it in my mind!
​
I wanted to go home, but was that even an option? How the hell does someone just go home after something like that? I couldn’t just waltz through the door like nothing was wrong! If Sam and Lisa didn’t notice, Rose sure as hell would and that assuming that the police weren’t already there. Someone could have recognized me! That Marilyn Monroe looking girl on the platform had gotten a good look at me. What if she told someone? It didn’t matter whether I’d meant to push the guy or not! It didn’t matter how much I’d fucking hated him at the time. He was dead. I was responsible. I’d pushed him. It was my fault.
​
‘I’ve just fucking killed a man!’
​
That thought… that reality didn’t feel real. It hadn’t truly hit me yet.
​
‘I’ve just fucking killed a man!’
​
I felt sick. If I actually had anything in my stomach, I might have even thrown up. Moving made me feel even worse, so I just stood there, letting the rain soak me to the bone, shaking from the horror and the cold while I tried to figure out what the hell I was going to do next. But all I could think about was the way he looked as the train went over him, and wondering if anything would have changed if I’d at least tried to grab him. Could I have caught him? Could I have saved him? What then? What would happen next? As far as I knew that motherfucker had murdered my goddamn parents! Should I really have even bothered trying to save him? Maybe I should have felt vindicated by all of this? Maybe this was some kind of justice, right? It sure as hell didn’t feel like justice. It’s not like I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this had been the guy! There were doubts! There were a lot of fucking doubts!
​
I heard the sirens in the distance. But nobody came for me. I saw a police cruiser pass my alley. It didn’t stop for me, but it did make me think about my sweater. The goddamn sweater… it would probably be enough to identify me, right?
​
For a moment, I thought about turning myself in to the police. I mean, maybe once I told them that it was an accident, then maybe they’d be cool with it and let me go? I mean, the police are just known for being trustworthy and reasonable, right? What did I possibly have to worry about with them? I could just turn myself in and everything would be hunky fucking dory! ‘Oh, you just threw a man in front of a fucking subway train! Yeah, no big. Go home! Take a load off! Get some coffee! Try not to think about the man you just threw under a fucking subway train!’ Yes! Go to the police Violet! Great idea! And while you’re at it why don’t you do it in the fucking nude too? GREAT IDEA VIOLET! ALMOST AS GREAT AS THE TIME YOU THREW A MAN IN FRONT OF A FUCKING SUBWAY TRAIN! REMEMBER THAT?
​
I took off the sweater and abandoned it in the nearest dumpster. I hid it under some trash bags and hoped to God that nobody would ever find it, then, after standing in the rain like an idiot for several minutes with no idea on where to go next, I started walking home.
​
Nobody noticed me.
​
Nobody followed me.
​
The city was just… quiet. Not quiet, quiet. But nothing felt out of place. The world around me almost felt normal, and it was my own fault that the normalcy felt wrong somehow.
I entered my old bedroom through the fire escape, just like I used to back in high school when sneaking out at night to drink was the worst thing I’d ever done. I could hear people in the apartment, and I listened to see if any of the voices were unfamiliar. I heard Sam and Lisa talking over breakfast, and I could hear the TV. Nothing out of the ordinary. It satisfied me enough that I was safe. I locked my bedroom door and crawled into bed, pulling the covers over my head and listening to the rain and the voices outside. But I heard nothing out of the ordinary. It was like nothing had happened. Like it was all just a bad dream. Eventually, I fell asleep.
​
I stayed in bed until well after noon, staring up at the ceiling when I couldn’t sleep anymore. Sam and Lisa both left for work. I could hear Rose going around the house. She’d said that she had the day off, save for classes in the evening. She only bothered me once, though. Knocking on my door to check on me. I told her I was sick, and she didn’t pry. She didn’t sound suspicious. Just concerned.
​
I kept replaying what had happened at the subway station over and over again in my head. I couldn’t stop thinking about it and I couldn’t stop hating the quiet around me.
​
Sometimes, I wondered if it was just a bad dream. If maybe I’d never even left my room at all. Maybe I just wanted to believe that. It was better than thinking I’d just killed someone. There was a part of me that didn’t really seem to care. It still hadn’t fully hit me yet. After all, no one had come for me. So maybe it really was just a bad dream? Even if it hadn’t been, how had that man known who my Mom was? What about the things he’d said? Was it just a weird coincidence, or a horrible mistake? Maybe it was both.
​
I checked my phone when the afternoon began to slip into evening. The whole event was getting hazier in my mind. I was starting to convince myself it hadn’t happened. Lisa had messaged me, asking how I was feeling. Rose must’ve told her I was sick. I lied and said I was feeling a bit better, then I checked the news.
​
When I read the story I felt sick all over again. No name for my victim, no information at all. The man who’d gone under the train was just identified as ‘a man.’ That was it. Nothing else. There wasn’t even a picture of him.
​
There was however a picture of me… kinda.
​
It was blurry as hell. I tried to make out my own face amongst the black and white pixels but I couldn’t. It might have been me as I entered the station, although my hood was over my head, my hair was covered, and the only thing I could sort of identify was my lips, which aren’t exactly that distinct. Really, it could have been anyone in that picture. Anyone at all.
​
‘An unknown possible suspect’ It said under the picture. Followed by: ‘The suspect is believed to be male, approximately 6’2 and was last seen wearing a grey hoodie and jeans.’
​
They got the outfit right, and were only a little off with the height by two inches.
​
All in all… I can’t say that any of this really seemed damning to me. Although the idea that the police (or at least the news) had no idea who I was didn’t do a whole hell of a lot to calm me down. The idea of ‘getting away with it’ seemed just as bad as being caught.
​
For the second time that evening, I wondered about turning myself in to the police. I mean, this wasn’t exactly first degree murder. It was an accident! That had to be at least manslaughter, right? I mean, it was still a crime but it wasn’t first degree murder, right?
​
Christ… I was probably committing an even bigger crime by not coming forward! Why wasn’t I going to the nearest police station? What the hell was stopping me? Fear? Fear of what, consequences? You don’t fucking kill a man and not suffer any consequences! Even if it was an accident, there had to be some kind of consequence, right?
​
Was it justice? Assuming that this guy really had been the one who’d killed my parents all those years ago, did he really deserve to die like that? Thrown screaming under a train and… and…
​
God I didn’t even know if it was really the guy or not! It could have been anyone! He could’ve just randomly known my Mom and just so happened to look like her killer! It wasn’t even a perfect resemblance! I mean, fuck, how many fucking people in New York have blond hair, blue eyes and glasses? Thousands at least! Justice wasn’t a valid excuse! It just wasn’t!
​
I wanted to continue to lie there and stew, but I don’t know if that was really an option anymore. Slowly, I forced myself to get out of bed and head into the kitchen. I’d eaten nothing all day, which wasn’t all that healthy of a diet. As a further fuck you to my digestive system, I rummaged through the cupboard. There was a box of off brand pop tarts that I jammed them in the toaster for breakfast, if you could still call it that at five in the evening.
​
While I waited for my sugar enriched breakfast to ‘cook’ I raided the fridge for a drink. I found some OJ, and wandered into the living room. Rose had already left for class, but I knew Sam and Lisa would have been home soon.
​
When they did come home, they found me in the living room, under a blanket and finishing my shitty off brand pastries. Lisa fussed over me, like I knew she would. Sam just took over the TV and changed the channel to something other than the news.
​
I went to bed early last night, checking the news stories again on my phone before lying awake in bed. I might have slept a little. I couldn’t really say. I was just alone with my thoughts.
​
I’m not supposed to go back to Toronto for another day or so. But maybe I could leave early? Fuck off, leave all of this behind me and try to move on with my life? Sam and Lisa wouldn’t question it… much. That sounded like a horrible idea though. Just… fucking off, forgetting, pretending that this didn’t happen. It sounded like a mistake. Running away seemed like the exact kind of thing that would come back to bite me in the ass… and then what would I do? Was I supposed to just keep running from it? I knew in my gut that this would only ever make things worse. What would that do to Sam and Lisa? What would it do to Rose? I didn’t want to find out. I didn’t want to put them through that!
​
As I lay in bed a quiet resignation settled over me… and oddly enough, with it came a bit of peace. I guess even if no one else ever found out about what had happened at Prince Street, even if I took that secret to my grave, it would still gnaw at me. I’d still be looking over my shoulder, waiting for the day to come when it caught up with me. I didn’t want to deal with that. I didn’t want to put my family through that!
​
So I made a decision.
​
I don’t know if this will be my final entry or not.. I might not be coming back after this. Sam, Lisa, Rose… if any of you are reading this, I’m sorry. I swear to God, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.
​
I’m going to go to the police in the morning and I’m going to turn myself in. So if this is it… well… goodbye.
​
I hope you don’t hate me too much.
​
***
​
Okay, so what the fuck?
​
I did the right thing! I turned myself in to the police! I was ready to go to jail over this!
​
Instead, I’m back in my old bedroom at Sam and Lisa’s and I’m 99.9% sure that I’m off the hook.
​
I went to the police station. I told them that I was there to confess and up until that point, things went as expected. They took me to an interrogation room and I waited for someone to come and talk to me. I was in there for about an hour, fidgeting aimlessly with my hands and waiting for some kind of judgment before someone finally bothered to show up.
​
The guy who walked through the door had a sort of ex military look to him. His eyes were intense and he had a muscular physique with a neatly trimmed goatee. He didn’t say a word to me as he came in. He just looked down at the file in his hands before sitting down at the desk.
​
“Violet Stone, right?” He asked. Straight to business. I always thought that Detectives were supposed to come off as friendly at first. This guy seemed like he’d come in with the express purpose of kicking my ass.
“Yeah, I’m Violet.” I said.
​
He looked up at me, sizing me up for a moment before huffing.
“Alright… well Violet, well my name is Vincent Bennett. I’m the Detective assigned to the Arthur White case. I understand you’re here with information, correct?”
​
Arthur White? Was that the name of the guy I’d killed?
“Yeah… I was… I was the one on the subway platform with him.”
“The one who pushed him?” Bennett asked.
​
I hesitated for a moment before nodding.
“It… it was an accident!” I said, “He’d grabbed my arm, I was just trying to get him off of me!”
“Right… tell you what Violet, why don’t you walk me through what happened yesterday morning, okay? Tell me everything that you remember.”
​
I did just that. I told him about how I’d run into Arthur and his daughter while I’d been out on a jog, I told him about how he’d mentioned my mother and how I’d followed him, and finally I told him about what had happened on the subway platform.
​
The whole time, Bennett just took notes and nodded quietly, only pausing a few times to ask a question.
“So - you attest that it was an accident, that Mr. White fell into the path of the oncoming train?” He asked.
“Yeah… yeah, it was.” I said.
“Okay. You mind if I ask why it took so long for you to come forward?” He asked, “I mean… this happened yesterday morning. It’s been at least twenty four hours.”
​
“I was panicking!” I said, “Look, I didn’t know what to do or if I should come forward or what!”
“A man was killed,” Bennett replied. “And you fled the crime scene. You also took a while to come forward. Forgive me if I find any of that suspicious.”
“Well, I’m trying to do the right thing now!” I argued although Bennett’s stony expression didn’t seem to change much.
​
“Miss Stone… are you aware of who Arthur White is?” He asked. “Do you know much about the White family?”
That question of his seemed awfully loaded.
​
“No, why are they important?” I asked.
“Depends on which circles you run in,” Bennett replied. “I’m gonna be honest with you… Arthur White was a real piece of shit. I wouldn’t really call him the worst member of the White family. Arguably he made the rest of them look saintly in comparison. But he was still a man with a… history. You say he resembled the man who you believed killed your parents… was that your only motivation for following him to the Prince Street station?”
“He mentioned my Mother by name!” I said, “He said he knew Diana Stone!”
​
Bennett paused, before looking up at me again.
“You’re Diana Stone’s daughter?” He asked.
My brow furrowed.
“What, you knew her too?” I asked.
“I’ve… heard the name before.”
​
My heart skipped a beat.
“So he did kill them…” I said softly, “You’re telling me that he did kill them?”
“Arthur White was not a suspect in the Diana Stone murder, no. His-”
​
Bennett’s phone started to ring before he could finish whatever it was that he was trying to say. His ringtone was the opening riff of ‘Phantom of the Opera’ by Iron Maiden.
​
He paused, tensing up a little at the sound of the ringtone. Then he quietly reached into his pocket to take his phone out. He stared at the screen, which depicted a big red X on it, before quietly standing up.
​
“Excuse me,” He said softly as he left the room, and for a few minutes, I sat there in the uneasy silence, waiting for him to come back. I found myself fidgeting with my hands again as I looked over at the mirror that dominated the wall to my left. I figured that there had to be someone behind it, watching me. Maybe it was Bennett? I squinted, trying to see if I could see him behind the glass, but there was no luck.
​
The only thing I saw was my own reflection, squinting back at me like an idiot and the security camera in the corner behind me. I looked back up at the camera, staring into it for a moment. I wondered if maybe Bennett was watching me through there. Maybe nobody was watching me? It was hard to say. I stared back into the iris of the camera for a moment, before the door opened again and Detective Bennett came back in. I saw him stuffing his phone back into his pocket.
​
Something about his demeanor had changed, but it was hard to say exactly what. When he spoke to me again, his tone was much quieter.
“Thank you for your time, Miss Stone. We have all we need. You’re free to go.”
​
Free to go?
​
“Wait, what?” I asked. “I… I just killed a guy! What do you mean I’m free to go!”
“You indicated that Mr. White’s death was an accident, correct?” Bennett asked. “That’s all we need. Go home, kid.”
I stared at him in disbelief. He was just letting me go? I’d fucking killed a man and they were just letting me go? That didn’t make any sense!
​
“So that’s it?” I asked, “You’re not going to arrest me or… or press charges or…?”
“No. We’re not,” He said. “You’re free to go.”
​
He picked up his folder and headed for the door again, pausing before looking up at the camera and then back to me. He held the door open for me, and after a moment, I got up and followed him.
“Do I need to get a lawyer?” I asked.
“That won’t be necessary,” He replied as he led me back through the police station. Once we were back at the front door, he pushed through and gestured for me to follow.
​
Once we were outside, I watched him take out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
“So that’s just it, then?” I asked. This whole thing still confused me.
Detective Bennett still didn’t reply. He just looked up toward the building, before taking a drag on his cigarette.
“Take my advice, kid… don’t ever look a gift horse in the mouth. It might not always be so pretty on the inside,” He didn’t look at me as he said that. He started down the steps of the police station, before pausing. “And do yourself a favor, keep your head down for the next little while.”
​
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, but Detective Bennett was already walking away from me.
​
I’m not an idiot.
​
Something isn’t right here. I just don’t know what.
​
I keep thinking back to the phone call Bennett got. I’ve got a feeling that it had something to do with my sudden release. What I don’t know is what or why and to be honest, I’m not sure that I want to find out.
​
Bennett told me to keep my head down, and I’m smart enough to take his advice.
​
I’m leaving tonight.
​
I’m going to let Sam, Lisa, and Rose know over dinner. I’ll think of some bullshit excuse. Maybe I’ll say that it’s a work thing, or something. They’re not going to check. I’m supposed to be heading home in a couple of days anyway, so they’re not going to think too much of it if I leave early.
​
Either way, whatever the hell I’ve gotten myself into, I want to get out of it sooner rather than later.

I just want to say that I'm not interested in hearing about the mediocre "benefits" coming from these medical mal-practitioners mouths, I already know that circumcision is a fraud. Also, babies aren't born religious or culturally aware.
I hate being a circumcised man because a natural and healthy part of me was cut off and I couldn't consent. Like, WTF? What's wrong with people? Genital Mutilation shouldn't be a parental choice, it's torture! I was circumcised after birth in the hospital (do no harm my butt). How would some moron at the AAP know whether or not I'd appreciate being circumcised later in life? Is keeping my foreskin too much too ask for now? God forbid I have a choice in the matter! I don't want to be American branded, I want to resemble God! I believe in intelligent design and I wouldn't consent if I had the choice.
Thanks America! You protected me from getting a tattoo, but not genital cutting! Can't wait to sign up for the Selective Service!

y'all prolly don't care but I did it anyway so ¯(ツ)¯
Rank Song
1 Michael Jackson - Ghosts
2 afi - Miseria Cantare - The Beginning
3 a-ha - Take On Me
4 Journey - Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)
5 Pearl Jam - Future Days
6 Evanescence - Bring Me To Life
7 Alter Bridge - The Other Side
8 Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody
9 Killswitch Engaged - This Fire
10 Motorhead - the game
11 Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit
12 Michael Jackson - Earth Song
13 Michael Jackson - Remember the Time
14 Saliva - I Walk Alone
15 Linkin’ Park - Crawling
16 Michael Jackson - Stranger In Moscow
17 Michael Jackson - Man In The Mirror
18 Michael Jackson - Bad
19 Imagine Dragons & JID - Enemy
20 Michael Jackson - Blood On The Dance Floor
21 BANKS - The Devil
22 Eminem - Godzilla ft. Juice WRLD
23 Elton John - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
24 Billie Eilish, Khalid - lovely
25 Luniz - I Got 5 On It
26 Dr. Dre - ETA (with Snoop Dogg, Busta Rhymes & Anderson .Paak)
27 Michael Jackson - They Don’t Care About Us
28 grandson & Jessie Reyez - Rain
29 The Cranberries - Zombie
30 Linkin Park - BURN IT DOWN
31 Bruno Mars, Anderson .Paak, Silk Sonic - Smokin Out The Window
32 Earth, Wind & Fire - September
33 Doja Cat - Woman
34 Linkin Park - Numb
35 Shakespears Sister - Stay
36 Michael Jackson - The Way You Make Me Feel
37 Britney Spears - Toxic
38 Michael Jackson - Billie Jean
39 Michael Jackson - Beat It
40 Michael Jackson - Thriller
41 Michael Jackson - Smooth Criminal
42 Bray Wyatt – Shatter
43 Doja Cat - Vegas
44 Linkin Park - In The End
45 Dr. Dre - The Scenic Route (with Rick Ross & Anderson .Paak)
46 Imagine Dragons - Natural
47 Michael Jackson, Janet Jackson - Scream
48 Imagine Dragons - Cutthroat
49 Coolio - Gangsta's Paradise (feat. L.V.)
50 Nirvana - Something In The Way
51 Limp Bizkit - Rollin'
52 Katy Perry - California Gurls ft. Snoop Dogg
53 Doja Cat ft. SZA - Kiss Me More
54 Lady Gaga - Bad Romance
55 Post Malone, Swae Lee - Sunflower )
56 Bring Me The Horizon - Can You Feel My Heart
57 Living Colour - Cult Of Personality (Official Video)
58 Queen - Killer Queen
59 Queen - Another One Bites the Dust
60 BANKS - Skinnydipped
61 Doja Cat - Say So
62 Michael Jackson - In the Closet
63 Rev Theory - Voices
64 Disney - We Don't Talk About Bruno
65 Michael Jackson - Rock With You
66 Britney Spears - Circus
67 Madison Beer - I Have Never Felt More Alive
68 Dua Lipa - Physical
69 Eminem - River ft. Ed Sheeran
70 Jefferson Airplane - White Rabbit
71 Imagine Dragons - Bones
72 Britney Spears - Oops!...I Did It Again
73 Lil Nas X - MONTERO (Call Me By Your Name)
74 Doja Cat - Get Into It (Yuh)
75 Dua Lipa - New Rules
76 Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know (feat. Kimbra)
77 Michael Jackson - Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
78 Michael Jackson - Jam
79 Eminem - Lose Yourself
80 Queen - I Want to Break Free
81 Childish Gambino - This Is America
82 Joji - Glimpse of Us
83 Linkin Park - Somewhere I Belong
84 Hamilton - The Room Where It Happens
85 Snoop Dogg - Gin And Juice
86 Michael Jackson - Heal The World
87 Louis Armstrong - What A Wonderful World
88 NF - The Search
89 Hamilton - Satisfied
90 Ren - Money Game
91 Queen - We Are The Champions nn
92 Tech N9ne - Face Off (feat. Joey Cool, King Iso & Dwayne Johnson)
93 Jessica Darrow - Surface Pressure
94 Michael Jackson - Money
95 Motionless In White - Demons in Your Dreams
96 Joji - SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK
97 BANKS - Gimme (Official Video)
98 Dua Lipa - Break My Heart (Official Video)
99 Idina Menzel, AURORA - Into the Unknown (From Frozen 2)
100 Warriors (ft. Imagine Dragons) Worlds 2014 - League of Legends
101 Dr. Dre - The Next Episode (Official Music Video) ft. Snoop Dogg, Kurupt, Nate Dogg
102 Eminem - Venom
103 Céline Dion - Ashes (from Deadpool 2 Motion Picture Soundtrack)
104 I Want You Back - The Jackson 5
105 Imagine Dragons - Sharks (Official Music Video)
106 Joan Jett & The Blackhearts Bad Reputation - Official Music Video (1983)
107 Guns N' Roses - Welcome To The Jungle
108 FOZZY - Judas (OFFICIAL VIDEO)
109 Waterproof Blonde - Just Close Your Eyes
110 Sam B - Who do you Voodoo, Bitch
111 Skillet - Legendary
112 Billie Eilish - bury a friend
113 Ren - Money Game part 2
114 Guns N' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine
115 Kevin Sherwood - Where Are We Going?
116 twenty one pilots - Heathens
117 Eminem - Without Me
118 Heavy - Linkin Park (feat. Kiiara)
119 Lady Gaga - Paparazzi
120 As The World Caves In - Sarah Cothran
121 Dr. Dre - Still D.R.E. ft. Snoop Dogg
122 Obie Trice ft. Eminem & Dr Dre - Shit hits the fan
123 Eminem - Big Weenie
124 Michael Jackson - Black Or White
125 SZA - Kill Bill Feat. Doja Cat
126 Clean Bandit - Symphony (feat. Zara Larsson)
127 Dua Lipa - Levitating Featuring DaBaby
128 Imagine Dragons - Believer
129 Mario Judah - Die Very Rough
130 Dua Lipa - IDGAF
131 Sabrina Carpenter - Thumbs
132 Ed Sheeran - Bad Habits
133 Imagine Dragons - Radioactive
134 Ariana Grande - thank u, next
135 D'LOURDES - How Did You Get So Good?
136 Queen - We Will Rock You
137 Imagine Dragons - Thunder
138 Eminem - White America
139 Olivia Rodrigo - good 4 u
140 Lorde - Royals
141 Billie Eilish - bad guy
142 Wiz Khalifa - See You Again ft. Charlie Puth
143 Leonard Cohen - Hallelujah
144 Michael Jackson - Who Is It
145 Hamilton - We Know
146 Michael Jackson - Speed Demon
147 BAD BUNNY - CHAMBEA
148 K/DA - MORE ft. Madison Beer, (G)I-DLE, Lexie Liu, Jaira Burns, Seraphine
149 Shaman’s Harvest - Broken Dreams
150 Michael Jackson - I Just Can't Stop Loving You
151 Skillet - Hero
152 Michael Jackson - Leave Me Alone
153 Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa & Imagine Dragons w/ Logic & Ty Dolla $ign ft X Ambassadors - Sucker for Pain
154 Ava Max - Sweet but Psycho
155 RISE (ft. The Glitch Mob, Mako, and The Word Alive)
156 Downstait - Kingdom
157 Hamilton - Say No To This
158 Eminem - Survival
159 Backstreet Boys - I Want It That Way
160 Alter Bridge - Metalingus
161 Britney Spears - ...Baby One More Time
162 Michael Jackson - Dirty Diana
163 Michael Jackson - P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)
164 Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Main Theme - Lifelight
165 PinkPantheress, Ice Spice - Boy’s a liar Pt. 2
166 Bee Gees - Stayin' Alive
167 Motorhead - line in the sand (Evolution)
168 K/DA - POP/STARS (ft. Madison Beer, (G)I-DLE, Jaira Burns)
169 Dua Lipa - Don't Start Now
170 Sam Smith, Kim Petras - Unholy
171 Imagine Dragons - Bad Liar
172 Ed Sheeran - Beautiful People (feat. Khalid)
173 Imagine Dragons - Birds
174 BANKS - Deadend
175 Mark Crozer and The Rels - Broken Out In Love
176 NWA - Gangsta Gangsta
177 Bon Jovi - Livin' On A Prayer
178 Toto - Africa
179 Michael Jackson - Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough
180 Ariana Grande - 7 rings
181 Eric Reprid - Vam
182 Imagine Dragons - Demons
183 Halsey - Without Me
184 Calvin Harris, Dua Lipa - One Kiss
185 Mark Ronson - Uptown Funk ft. Bruno Mars
186 Jim Johnston - Domination
187 K/DA - DRUM GO DUM ft. Aluna, Wolftyla, Bekuh BOOM
188 Lil Candypaint & Bhad Bhabie - 22 (Remix)
189 Dr. Dre - Gospel (with Eminem)
190 Lady Gaga - Applause
191 Shawn Mendes, Camila Cabello - Señorita
192 Billie Eilish - when the party's over
193 Phoenix (ft. Cailin Russo and Chrissy Costanza)
194 K/DA - I’LL SHOW YOU ft. TWICE, Bekuh BOOM, Annika Wells
195 Idina Menzel, Evan Rachel Wood - Show Yourself
196 Ash Costello - Brutality
197 The Gentle Men - Obsession
198 Imagine Dragons - Whatever It Takes
199 Demi Lovato - Sorry Not Sorry
200 Ed Sheeran - Perfect
201 BANKS - Beggin For Thread
202 2WEI and Edda Hayes - Warriors
203 Queen - Don't Stop Me Now
204 Dr. Dre ft. Snoop Dogg - Nuthin' But A G Thang
205 Fall Out Boy - Centuries
206 The Greatest Showman Cast - The Greatest Show
207 Lady Gaga, Ariana Grande - Rain On Me
208 Valerie Broussard - Awaken
209 Eminem - Rap God
210 The Weeknd - Blinding Lights
211 PVRIS - Burn It All Down
212 Fall Out Boy - My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up) (Part 1)
213 Michael Jackson - Will You Be There
214 K/DA - THE BADDEST ft. (G)I-DLE, Bea Miller, Wolftyla
215 twenty one pilots - Stressed Out
216 Tears For Fears - Everybody Wants To Rule The World
217 K/DA - VILLAIN ft. Madison Beer and Kim Petras
218 Loren Allred - Never Enough
219 Carly Rae Jepsen - Call Me Maybe
220 One Direction - Drag Me Down
221 Endeverafter - No More Words
222 Eminem - Fall
223 Zendaya, Zac Efron - Rewrite The Stars
224 Lil Nas X - Old Town Road ft. Billy Ray Cyrus
225 Disney - Remember Me
226 Bone Thugs N Harmony - 1st of tha Month
227 Lukas Graham - 7 Years
228 Whitney Houston - I Wanna Dance With Somebody
229 Ed Sheeran - Shape of You
230 Camila Cabello - Havana ft. Young Thug
231 Selena Gomez, Marshmello - Wolves
232 ZAYN - Dusk Till Dawn ft. Sia
233 The Greatest Showman Cast - This Is Me
234 Lewis Capaldi - Someone You Loved
235 Lil Nas X - STAR WALKIN'
236 Dove Cameron - If Only
237 U.S.A. For Africa - We Are the World
238 Dr. Dre - Fallin Up (with Thurz & Cocoa Sarai)
239 Tyler, the Creator - SORRY NOT SORRY
240 Nicki Taylor - Worlds Collide
241 Taylor Swift - Blank Space
242 Maroon 5 - Girls Like You ft. Cardi B
243 The Gentle Men - 2019 Guy
244 The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army
245 Eminem ft. Rihanna - The Monster
246 Charlie Puth - Attention
247 Bruno Mars - Grenade
248 Queen - Radio Ga Ga (Official Video)
249 Julia Michaels - What A Time ft. Niall Horan
250 The Greatest Showman Cast - A Million Dreams
251 Rihanna - Umbrella ft. JAY-Z
252 Lady Gaga - Poker Face
253 Clean Bandit - Rockabye feat. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie
254 Eminem - Love The Way You Lie ft. Rihanna
255 Sam Smith - I'm Not The Only One
256 The Chainsmokers - Closer ft. Halsey
257 Eminem - Not Afraid
258 BAD BUNNY - BOOKER T
259 Ellie Goulding - Love Me Like You Do
260 Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper - Shallow
261 David Guetta - Titanium ft. Sia
262 E-40 - Captain Save A Hoe ft. The Click, D-Shot, B-Legit, Suga T
263 Sofia Carson - Love Is The Name
264 Christina Perri - A Thousand Years
265 Maroon 5 - Moves Like Jagger ft. Christina Aguilera
266 Against The Current - Legends Never Die
267 Eminem - Like Toy Soldiers
268 Abba - Dancing Queen
269 Eminem - My Name Is
270 Shawn Mendes - Stitches
271 Malia J - Smells Like Teen Spirit
272 One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful
273 ZAYN, Taylor Swift - I Don’t Wanna Live Forever
274 Lil Nas X - Panini
275 Fergie - Glamorous ft. Ludacris
276 Ke$ha - TiK ToK
277 Sabrina Carpenter - Can't Blame a Girl for Trying
278 Shawn Mendes - Treat You Better
279 Shawn Mendes - There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back
280 Marshmello & Anne-Marie - FRIENDS
281 Pitbull - Timber ft. Ke$ha
282 CORPSE - E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY LIFE! ft. Savage Ga$p
283 Hudson Mohawke - Cbat

When liners met disaster (cough, Titanic, cough) anyone on them who was well-known was guaranteed a lot of publicity, although it likely didn't help your image or career much if you were dead.
When it was the only way to travel, the famous travelled on liners all the time, but didn't need to succumb to hypothermia or some other gruesome cause just to get their names in the papers. The press was usually there when liners (at least the most luxurious ones) departed or arrived to document the comings and goings of the rich and famous, proving that paparazzi are not a modern invention. Newspapers would list all the first class passengers arriving.
Sometimes public figures might take one of the lesser-known ships, maybe even to avoid the public eye. And of course some liners transported people who later became famous, but who got clean away with it because nobody knew who they were yet.
Wikipedia articles on liners are an interesting source for trivia like this. Someone who has taken the trouble to research and write a good article and has interest in a ship, or a line, will sometimes uncover some interesting factoid, and boom, thanks to the miracle of the internet, there it is for all to read. The articles on the legendary superliners contain lots of information about who in the Who's Who travelled on them, and when. And of course the story of Charles Dickens' utter disenchantment with Cunard's Britannia is now the stuff of legend. That's the low hanging fruit in the orchard.
What cases of the famous (or would-later-be-famous) travelling on specific ships that might not even be known of today (outside the liner enthusiast community) are you aware of? Here are a few I found:
Winston Churchill when a twenty-year-old junior officer, travelled to and from America on Cunard's Etruria in 1895 en route to Cuba to observe the locals' fight to free themselves from Spanish rule.
Mark Twain travelled from Australia to Ceylon (modern day Sri Lanka) on P&O's Oceana in 1895.
King George V and Queen Mary, while still the Duke and Duchess of Cornwall, used Orient Line's Ophir as a royal yacht for a tour of the British Empire in 1901 (the centrepiece of which was their attendance at the opening of Australia's first federal parliament in Melbourne). The tour lasted from February to November.
Douglas Fairbanks, Sr. and Mary Pickford (possibly the first Hollywood "power couple") travelled on Red Star Line's Lapland on their European honeymoon in 1920. They might have preferred one of the big first-class liners, but at the time Mauretania, Aquitania, and Olympic were probably all undergoing postwar refits and if you wanted to travel, you had to take what was going. Fairbanks would also later travel on Belgenland.
Isaac Asimov (at the age of three, before he became Sir Isaac) immigrated to the United States with his family on RMS Baltic in 1923.
Albert Einstein liked Red Star ships, travelling on Lapland and Belgenland (possibly because Antwerp was closer to where he worked and lived in Stuttgart than Hamburg or Bremen was). He also travelled to New York on Holland America's Rotterdam in 1921, to attend a World Zionist Organization conference. He was returning to Europe on Belgenland in 1933 when he received word of the ascension to power of the Nazi Party in Germany, and instead of returning to his home (which had already been seized), he went to London from Antwerp to seek refuge.
Eleanor Roosevelt with two of her sons and some friends returned from Europe on Belgenland in 1929. Her husband, then Governor of New York State, met the ship with a motorcycle escort.
The Prince of Wales, the future King Edward VIII, crossed the Atlantic on Berengaria for a mostly unofficial visit to the US and Canada in the mid-1920s, and returned on Olympic (this is from The Only Way to Cross, by John Maxtone-Graham). HR also used Canadian Pacific ships (notably Empress of Australia) for visits to his Canadian property as well.
King George VI and Queen Elizabeth travelled to Canada on Empress of Australia for the 1939 Royal Tour of Canada, also making an official visit to the United States, and returned on Empress of Britain.
Eddie van Halen emigrated to America with his family as a boy on Holland America Line's Rijndam.
George Bernard Shaw travelled extensively, and treated himself and his wife to a round-the-world cruise on Canadian Pacific's Empress of Britain in the early December 1932-April 1933, and New Zealand the following year, often working on his writing during long voyages.
Henry Ford made a voyage to Europe on Majestic in 1928, although as a teetotaler he probably would have been just as happy on Leviathan.
Grace Kelly travelled on the Constitution when she travelled from New York to Monaco for her marriage to Prince Rainier in 1956.
Former President Harry S Truman and his wife, Bess, travelled on the Constitution returning from a European trip in 1958.
And here is a link to an Associated Press online article with lots of pictures.

I'm seeing a metric ass ton of posts about people feeling harried, hassled, hindered, ogled, viewed, judged, scorned, tsked, spied upon, looked down on, asked to move on, etc., all because they live in their car. It's all very stressful, and I get that.
I've been living in my vehicle full-time for the past 9 months, part-time before that, and I have to say this sentiment is 180 degrees counter to my experience. I've never before had the pleasure of as much privacy or anonymity, if I choose it. The US is still mostly open space; second to that, it's places for cars to park. In a parking lot full of cars, no one cares or notices me or mine.
The country is lousy with places to sleep in your vehicle. Last night I drifted off dreamfully at the back of a deserted Cracker Barrel, lulled by the din of the interstate. There was a Microtel next door whose own parking lot was my backup plan. The night before, I parked for the night in front of a stranger's house in a leafy mid century subdivision, right across the street from the gym where I showered the next morning. I've slept in neighborhoods, industrial quarters, next to parks, along the beach, cheap campgrounds, BLM land, unmarked turnouts, Walmarts, hotel lots, hospitals.
I do everything in my vehicle that I would do anywhere else. I crouch, whip out the piss jug, and have a slash. I don't even bother putting up shades. No one sees, and no one cares. I change clothes, I meditate, I read, I wank, I sleep.
I know there is wide disparity in circumstances among urban car dwellers. I am probably better off than most for living this way by choice and not necessity. I work remotely, and as an independent contractor. Still I think what I've experienced is attainable for almost anyone living like this. The number one thing that makes this possible, in my opinion and experience, is that my vehicle is a minivan and not a sedan. Even a crossover, SUV, wagon would work the same. Any vehicle you can take the back or middle seats out of or fold down to make a bed and have a place to sit. Having a place to sit and lie down unseen is the entirety of the game. Without that, you're exposed. With it, you're golden.
I fully appreciate that not everyone has access to a van or similar vehicle. I would just like to point out that you can likely get one for not much more than what a sedan costs; and the benefits of having "living space" in your "car home" are well worth an extra $1-2k. I bought mine, a 15-year-old minivan in good shape, for under $5k. I paid some out of pocket and took out a small loan with my credit union for the rest.
Shit. I'm not trying to gloat. This is just what's worked for me, and I encourage anyone else who wants to car-dwell to van-dwell -- specifically in a minivan, the proper balance of stealth, space, and MPGs
Now I'm off to get all my spots rumbled and my personal space violated, for having written this.

DRAG RACE!
Rachelle Mirage struts the runway wearing a pantsuit in orange and red.
“Hello world!”
“Welcome to Drag Race.”
Rachelle smiles.
“Ms Michaels, how you doing?”
“I’m fabulous baby.” Floss grins. “How YOU doing?”
“Amazing. Let’s kick out Chronologica!” Rachelle cackles.
Floss winks.
“Tanvi Lioness, are you ready to see these comedians shine?”
“It’s time for them to exit the house.” Tanvi smirks.
“For our Challenge, our racers were tasked with competing in the BIG MOTHER improv challenge!”
“And on the runway, they’ll be wearing Red Velvet looks.”
“It’s TIME!”
~
“Category is… Red Velvet!”
Crayola Boxx struts out in a red ball gown, uttering the shape of a cake. She’s got a big, swirly skirt, and she spins around and around, with little bits of ‘frosting’ spurting out of the stage. She’s got a big red updo and a smile on her face.
“Not the spurting.” Floss looks around awkwardly.
“It reminds me of what you used to-” Rachelle stops after looking at Floss’ rageful face.
Aguacate struts out in a full ball gown, with multiple layers of luscious red velvet cake. She twirls down the runway, revealing a big slice has been taken right out of her backside, exposing the real cake, which is completely bare. Aguacate takes a lick of her delicious frosting, and licks her fingers clean!
“Oh… Aguacate did it so much better than Crayola.” Tanvi whispers to Rachelle.
Wearing a surprisingly high-fashion number, Jaslene Bangus walks down the runway. Her hair is dark and slicked back into a high pony. The outfit itself, however, is a two-piece suit made entirely out of red velvet. The collar and front of the suit jacket is made to resemble the red curtains of a theater. As she walks, her face showcases class and poise.
“Thank God it’s not another cake look.” Rachelle says.
Zazu Nova arrives in a Lightning Mcqueen inspired form-fitting red velvet catsuit, hugging the her curves, with black accents in the form of lightning bolts paying homage to Lightning McQueen's design, and red velvet jacket with racing patches adding an edgy and rebellious vibe to the look as she struts with a smile.
“Vroom Vroom.” Floss smiles.
Granny Gorgeous enters the stage in a red velvet cape, a huge one that covers her entire body and makes her frame not so visible. With a long red wig, Granny is serving caftan velvet realness with a smirk.
“Oh, she’s giving Granny.” Tanvi smirks.
Fiore Stravaganza shines in a sleek velvet dress that hugs her body tight. She’s got a massive red headdress, made of the same red velvet material, replacing a wig like Fiore would normally rock. Her face is expressively painted, and Fiore looks like a star.
“Gorgeous.” Rachelle smiles.
Yasmin Raiz oozes sex appeal, strutting the runway in a deep red velvet bodycon dress that hangs low off her shoulders, with a little cream flower pin on her bosom. She wears sheer cream nylon gloves with a small ruffled bow at the wrist, a perfectly coiffed cream-blonde wig, small deep red glasses with flower-shaped frames, and carries a cream fur coat, as if she doesn’t even need the reveal.
“Delicious.” Floss winks.
King Omari Star stuns as he enters the stage in a red velvet kilt, with an asymmetrical shirt that has a matching long, flowy cape along with it. He’s got a massive pair of red platform boots, and as he walks, he gives every inch of royalty with a smirk.
“He loves a cape.” Rachelle chuckles.
~
“Hi Racers.” Rachelle purses her lips. “Nobody is safe.”
“First up… Yasmin.”
Yasmin smiles.
“You really have a soulful vibe, and I enjoy it.” Tanvi nods. “You hit the marks comedically, you enjoyed yourself and I was really quite pleased to see it.”
“Thank you!” Yasmin grins.
“It was a real fun time, and I do think you really were one of the highlights to see. Solid work, girl.” Rachelle smiles, “You have been consistent these past couple of weeks, and you only leave me wanting a little bit more, and I must say that I do think this look is a good switch for you. Keep up the good work.”
Yasmin bows.
“Fiore.”
Fiore smiles.
“You look gorgeous.” Racehelle grins. “Like, wow.”
Fiore flicks back her invisible hair and smirks.
“In this challenge, I did wish I got to see MORE from you in the challenge, though. It feels as if something is keeping you from fully going out like you did in, let’s say, the Snatch Game..”
Fiore nods.
“Just need- more engagement. I feel as if you’re hardening up, going back into that inner shell, when I want you to let us see even more of you. Pretty will only get you so far, Fiore.”
“I can assure you, this is me.” Fiore looks at Rachelle.
“Well…” Rachelle nods.
“Moving on, Jaslene.”
Jaslene looks at the judges.
“YAS! Girl, this look is great.” Floss smiles. “I damn love it.”
“Thank you.” Jaslene nods.
“I feel you have been middle of the road for a few weeks. But this week, I saw the effort baby. But it is not quite enough. I’m going to need you to keep driving- because at this point, I feel as if you’re lagging behind.”
“Noted.” Jaslene says.
“Zazu.”
“Hii…” Zazu says awkwardly.
“I think we know.” Rachelle says.
“Yes.” Zazu responds.
“This wasn’t quite the best performance. Well, you stumbled. I wanted to see you do well, but unfortunately- it wasn’t quite enough, and I’m going to need you to fight for this.”
“I do want to do this.” Zazu purses her lips. “For me, I feel challenged here. But I will always take every single critique and fight for the crown.”
“That is what I need.” Rachelle looks at Zazu. “Keep it going.”
Zazu nods in agreement.
“Omari.”
Omari adjusts his cape.
“You have a royal presence to you.” Tanvi says.
“King Omari Star.” Omari smirks. “Is my full name.”
“I can see it.” Tanvi responds. “I think you had a good balance of funny and real. I enjoyed you this week.”
Omari smiles.
“I wanted you to push yourself out of your comfort zone this week, and you did. And for that I have to commend you” Rachelle responds. “Well done.”
“Thank you.” Omari grins.
Granny.
“Hello.” Granny says.
“I am loving this look.” Rachelle looks at Granny. “It’s giving- a bit generic, but also- I do feel like you’re reinforcing that idea said a few weeks ago- I am seeing a lack of brand.”
“Okay…” Granny smiles, ever the pleaser.
“I want you to get dirty this week, but you did not.” Rachelle says. “And I'm going to need you to further think on what your drag is- what you bring. Because again- at this point, that’s really important.”
“I understand.” Granny smiles.
“Aguacate.”
“¡Hola!” Aguacate winks.
“You’re pure chaos!”
“AHHHHH!” Aguacate screams.
Tanvi giggles.
“That is what I liked.” Tanvi says. “Well and truly, you stole the show.”
“Thank you.” Aguacate smirks.
“I feel like unlike others, you do know who you are. My advice? Keep doing you.”
“I will.” Aguacate adds. “I can tell you that.”
“Finally, Crayola.”
“Hello dear.” Crayola smiles.
“You weren’t funny, baby.” Floss frowns.
“Oh.” Crayola looks surprised.
“As in- you know, I was expecting haha. But I got- oh, nah.” Floss laughs. “Like, damn, there was nothing fun- and I wanted to see you make me laugh!”
Crayola nods.
“For me, it came off- just like you were trying too hard, it wasn’t the smooth sailing we were looking for. And it just wasn't a very clever delivery, or very funny either. It was a shame.” Rachelle adds. “…And this gown doesn’t do you any favors- it looks frumpy.”
“I apologize.” Crayola responds.
“Racers, before we deliberate… I have a question to ask.”
Everyone looks at each other.
“Who should go home tonight and why? Starting with… Crayola.”
“I think this week I disappointed.” Crayola frowns. “And I do really enjoy this, but I am not delivering, and I will be truthful with that. I wasn’t the best, and I’m sorry.” Crayola says.
The others look surprised.
“Okay.”
“Zazu.” Aguacate says. “Ms Boxx at least has two wins. This is what, her… 4th time in the bottom 3?” Aguacate laughs.
Zazu frowns.
“I do agree, Zazu.” Granny sighs. “Sadly, at this point, she is not delivering as consistently as the others.”
“For me, Crayola.” Omari says. “I see a fighter in Zazu. I do not see that in Crayola, as… clearly, neither does she.”
Aguacate giggles.
“I think, Crayola.” Zazu nods. “I’m sorry, but I will not say myself- I can never...”
Rachelle nods.
“For me, Crayola.” Jaslene responds. “At this point, she is not showcasing herself at her best.”
“Now, Zazu is clearly at the bottom.” Fiore purses her lips. “But if I’m being honest, at this point, Jaslene isn’t delivering anything new either, I don’t think.” Fiore nods. “Like you have said she has been, for a lack of a better term… flat-lining these past several episodes.”
Jaslene looks surprised, as well as Rachelle.
Jaslene Bangus: “What the fuck?”
“Let her fight for the bottom.” Fiore shrugs.
Jaslene rolls her eyes.
“I do agree with Zazu.” Yasmin nods. “Unfortunately.”
“Thank you, racers. Whilst we deliberate, you may untuck backstage in the Crystal Lounge, sponsored by Princess Papaya Tropical Drinks.”
~
The racers enter the platinum lounge.
Jaslene stomps in, grabbing a drink before turning to face Fiore.
“What the fuck?” Jaslene says.
Fiore raises an eyebrow. "What's the matter, Jaslene? Did I say something wrong?"
Jaslene clenches her fists, clearly pissed. "You think it's okay to throw me under the bus like that? Saying I should fight for the bottom? What the hell girl? I thought you were my sister?”
Fiore smirks, taking a sip of her drink. “Please, Jaslene. I was just stating m ytruth, what I have been seeing these past few weeks- If you can't handle a little critique, maybe you're not cut out for this competition. I feel as if you haven’t been delivering, and to me, you’re dead weight, right now."
Fiore Stravaganza: “Real talk, I said her name because simply put, at this point, I feel the AE girls have been holding me back. I need my brand focused on me.”
Jaslene's trembles. "You have no right to judge me, Fiore. You act like you're better than all of us, but you're just a mean-spirited queen hiding behind a pretty face."
“Darling, you came up with the name PRETTY GIRLS, I’m not just pretty, I’m gorgeous.” Fiore growls. “I was just being honest.”
“Honest?!” Jaselene rolls her eyes. “You’re acting nasty.”
Fiore's eyes narrow, her composure slipping for a moment. "Watch your words, Jaslene. I may be straightforward, but at least I'm not deluding myself like some queens here. I speak the truth, and if you can't handle it, that's your problem. Now go fix your hair."
Jaslene looks as if she is ready to scream, as Omari raises his hand in between them. “Let’s not.”
“I just..” Jaslene rolls her eyes. “Whatever.” Jaslene walks off.
“Beef.” Aguacate giggles.
“...Can I ask, what is going on Fiore?” Omari asks. “Like, there’s this switch..”
“There’s no switch.” Fiore responds quickly, looking at Omari. “I’ve always been competitive here, and clearly you haven’t been paying attention.”
Omari rolls his eyes. “Alright.”
“How is everyone else?” Granny asks.
“I am disappointed to be in the bottom again, but girl- I love to perform.” Zazu puts in an earphone. “So, I'm going to give my all.”
Zazu Nova: “A stage is where I shine. That- I am not scared of.” Zazu grins.
“For me, it’s-” Crayola sighs.
Crayola pauses, and looks down. "I don't know, guys. I'm just... I'm really struggling right now. I feel like I'm not good enough, like I don't belong here. And seeing myself disappoint week after week, it's really taking a toll on me."
“You won last week, girl.” Fiore adds.
Yasmin puts a hand on Crayola’s shoulder. "Hey, hey, none of that talk, okay? You are talented, Crayola, and you absolutely belong here. We all have our off weeks, but that doesn't define who we are as queens. You have so much more to offer, and I believe in you."
“I just wish you didn’t say your own name.” Omari says.
King Omari Star: “I would never say my own name. I will always fight. And Crayola… it is a strange response.”
Crayola looks up at Yasmin, tearing up. "Thank you, Yasmin. I'm just scared of going home, you know? I don't want to let myself down or let anyone else down."
Yasmin pulls Crayola into a warm hug. "I understand that fear, but remember, this is just a moment in our journey. It doesn't define our worth or our future. We've come so far, and we're all here to support each other. You are loved and valued, Crayola."
Granny smiles. “We're a family here, and we lift each other up. Don't let negative thoughts bring you down. Embrace your uniqueness and shine."
Granny Gorgeous: “I feel the same, though. This is… scary.”
Aguacate chimes in with a grin. "Exactly, mija! We all have our strengths and weaknesses, but together, we make this competition fierce. Keep your head high and remember why you're here."
“Vroom vroom.” Zazu winks.
Jaslene looks in the mirror, combing her hair before sitting next to Omari.
Jaslene Bangus: “Well, I guess that’s over.”
Fiore and Jaslene look at each other for a second.
Jaslene Bangus: “Full steam ahead.”
~
“Welcome back, racers. We’ve made some decisions.”
…
“Fiore, Jaslene, you’re safe.”
The two look at each other before walking separate sides of the stage.
“Omari. Yasmin. Great work. You’re safe.”
The two grin.
“Aguacate, this week you made us CACKLE. Condragulations, you are the winner of this week’s challenge.”
Aguacate jumps for joy. “WOOHOO”
Aguacate: “Another one.” Aguacate winks. “I I think I’m a frontrunner.”
…
…
“Granny, you’re safe.”
Granny bows.
“That means Zazu Nova and Crayola Boxx, I’m sorry my dears, but you are up for elimination.”
“The time has come… for you to lip sync to your life!”
**Conga by Gloria Estefan starts to play**
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54ItEmCnP80
“Good luck… and don’t fuck it up!”
Zazu Nova: “I know this is my fourth time, but lip syncing is what I do. I’m never going down without a FIGHT!”
Crayola Boxx: “I’m giving my heart. That’s all I can do.”
~
Next Time!
Racers, it’s time to makeover your loved ones!
“My WIFE!” Omari yells, tearing up.
“Woah.” Aguacate stares awkwardly.
“I’m going to shit on these bitches.” Jaslene smirks.
“Oh, another bodysuit?” Fiore looks at Jaslene.
Fiore Stravaganza: “This is MY moment.”
~
Stats
Voting
Spreadsheet

DRAG RACE!
Rachelle Mirage struts the runway wearing a pantsuit in orange and red.
“Hello world!”
“Welcome to Drag Race.”
Rachelle smiles.
“Ms Michaels, how you doing?”
“I’m fabulous baby.” Floss grins. “How YOU doing?”
“Amazing. Let’s kick out Chronologica!” Rachelle cackles.
Floss winks.
“Tanvi Lioness, are you ready to see these comedians shine?”
“It’s time for them to exit the house.” Tanvi smirks.
“For our Challenge, our racers were tasked with competing in the BIG MOTHER improv challenge!”
“And on the runway, they’ll be wearing Red Velvet looks.”
“It’s TIME!”
~
“Category is… Red Velvet!”
Crayola Boxx struts out in a red ball gown, uttering the shape of a cake. She’s got a big, swirly skirt, and she spins around and around, with little bits of ‘frosting’ spurting out of the stage. She’s got a big red updo and a smile on her face.
“Not the spurting.” Floss looks around awkwardly.
“It reminds me of what you used to-” Rachelle stops after looking at Floss’ rageful face.
Aguacate struts out in a full ball gown, with multiple layers of luscious red velvet cake. She twirls down the runway, revealing a big slice has been taken right out of her backside, exposing the real cake, which is completely bare. Aguacate takes a lick of her delicious frosting, and licks her fingers clean!
“Oh… Aguacate did it so much better than Crayola.” Tanvi whispers to Rachelle.
Wearing a surprisingly high-fashion number, Jaslene Bangus walks down the runway. Her hair is dark and slicked back into a high pony. The outfit itself, however, is a two-piece suit made entirely out of red velvet. The collar and front of the suit jacket is made to resemble the red curtains of a theater. As she walks, her face showcases class and poise.
“Thank God it’s not another cake look.” Rachelle says.
Zazu Nova arrives in a Lightning Mcqueen inspired form-fitting red velvet catsuit, hugging the her curves, with black accents in the form of lightning bolts paying homage to Lightning McQueen's design, and red velvet jacket with racing patches adding an edgy and rebellious vibe to the look as she struts with a smile.
“Vroom Vroom.” Floss smiles.
Granny Gorgeous enters the stage in a red velvet cape, a huge one that covers her entire body and makes her frame not so visible. With a long red wig, Granny is serving caftan velvet realness with a smirk.
“Oh, she’s giving Granny.” Tanvi smirks.
Fiore Stravaganza shines in a sleek velvet dress that hugs her body tight. She’s got a massive red headdress, made of the same red velvet material, replacing a wig like Fiore would normally rock. Her face is expressively painted, and Fiore looks like a star.
“Gorgeous.” Rachelle smiles.
Yasmin Raiz oozes sex appeal, strutting the runway in a deep red velvet bodycon dress that hangs low off her shoulders, with a little cream flower pin on her bosom. She wears sheer cream nylon gloves with a small ruffled bow at the wrist, a perfectly coiffed cream-blonde wig, small deep red glasses with flower-shaped frames, and carries a cream fur coat, as if she doesn’t even need the reveal.
“Delicious.” Floss winks.
King Omari Star stuns as he enters the stage in a red velvet kilt, with an asymmetrical shirt that has a matching long, flowy cape along with it. He’s got a massive pair of red platform boots, and as he walks, he gives every inch of royalty with a smirk.
“He loves a cape.” Rachelle chuckles.
~
“Hi Racers.” Rachelle purses her lips. “Nobody is safe.”
“First up… Yasmin.”
Yasmin smiles.
“You really have a soulful vibe, and I enjoy it.” Tanvi nods. “You hit the marks comedically, you enjoyed yourself and I was really quite pleased to see it.”
“Thank you!” Yasmin grins.
“It was a real fun time, and I do think you really were one of the highlights to see. Solid work, girl.” Rachelle smiles, “You have been consistent these past couple of weeks, and you only leave me wanting a little bit more, and I must say that I do think this look is a good switch for you. Keep up the good work.”
Yasmin bows.
“Fiore.”
Fiore smiles.
“You look gorgeous.” Racehelle grins. “Like, wow.”
Fiore flicks back her invisible hair and smirks.
“In this challenge, I did wish I got to see MORE from you in the challenge, though. It feels as if something is keeping you from fully going out like you did in, let’s say, the Snatch Game..”
Fiore nods.
“Just need- more engagement. I feel as if you’re hardening up, going back into that inner shell, when I want you to let us see even more of you. Pretty will only get you so far, Fiore.”
“I can assure you, this is me.” Fiore looks at Rachelle.
“Well…” Rachelle nods.
“Moving on, Jaslene.”
Jaslene looks at the judges.
“YAS! Girl, this look is great.” Floss smiles. “I damn love it.”
“Thank you.” Jaslene nods.
“I feel you have been middle of the road for a few weeks. But this week, I saw the effort baby. But it is not quite enough. I’m going to need you to keep driving- because at this point, I feel as if you’re lagging behind.”
“Noted.” Jaslene says.
“Zazu.”
“Hii…” Zazu says awkwardly.
“I think we know.” Rachelle says.
“Yes.” Zazu responds.
“This wasn’t quite the best performance. Well, you stumbled. I wanted to see you do well, but unfortunately- it wasn’t quite enough, and I’m going to need you to fight for this.”
“I do want to do this.” Zazu purses her lips. “For me, I feel challenged here. But I will always take every single critique and fight for the crown.”
“That is what I need.” Rachelle looks at Zazu. “Keep it going.”
Zazu nods in agreement.
“Omari.”
Omari adjusts his cape.
“You have a royal presence to you.” Tanvi says.
“King Omari Star.” Omari smirks. “Is my full name.”
“I can see it.” Tanvi responds. “I think you had a good balance of funny and real. I enjoyed you this week.”
Omari smiles.
“I wanted you to push yourself out of your comfort zone this week, and you did. And for that I have to commend you” Rachelle responds. “Well done.”
“Thank you.” Omari grins.
Granny.
“Hello.” Granny says.
“I am loving this look.” Rachelle looks at Granny. “It’s giving- a bit generic, but also- I do feel like you’re reinforcing that idea said a few weeks ago- I am seeing a lack of brand.”
“Okay…” Granny smiles, ever the pleaser.
“I want you to get dirty this week, but you did not.” Rachelle says. “And I'm going to need you to further think on what your drag is- what you bring. Because again- at this point, that’s really important.”
“I understand.” Granny smiles.
“Aguacate.”
“¡Hola!” Aguacate winks.
“You’re pure chaos!”
“AHHHHH!” Aguacate screams.
Tanvi giggles.
“That is what I liked.” Tanvi says. “Well and truly, you stole the show.”
“Thank you.” Aguacate smirks.
“I feel like unlike others, you do know who you are. My advice? Keep doing you.”
“I will.” Aguacate adds. “I can tell you that.”
“Finally, Crayola.”
“Hello dear.” Crayola smiles.
“You weren’t funny, baby.” Floss frowns.
“Oh.” Crayola looks surprised.
“As in- you know, I was expecting haha. But I got- oh, nah.” Floss laughs. “Like, damn, there was nothing fun- and I wanted to see you make me laugh!”
Crayola nods.
“For me, it came off- just like you were trying too hard, it wasn’t the smooth sailing we were looking for. And it just wasn't a very clever delivery, or very funny either. It was a shame.” Rachelle adds. “…And this gown doesn’t do you any favors- it looks frumpy.”
“I apologize.” Crayola responds.
“Racers, before we deliberate… I have a question to ask.”
Everyone looks at each other.
“Who should go home tonight and why? Starting with… Crayola.”
“I think this week I disappointed.” Crayola frowns. “And I do really enjoy this, but I am not delivering, and I will be truthful with that. I wasn’t the best, and I’m sorry.” Crayola says.
The others look surprised.
“Okay.”
“Zazu.” Aguacate says. “Ms Boxx at least has two wins. This is what, her… 4th time in the bottom 3?” Aguacate laughs.
Zazu frowns.
“I do agree, Zazu.” Granny sighs. “Sadly, at this point, she is not delivering as consistently as the others.”
“For me, Crayola.” Omari says. “I see a fighter in Zazu. I do not see that in Crayola, as… clearly, neither does she.”
Aguacate giggles.
“I think, Crayola.” Zazu nods. “I’m sorry, but I will not say myself- I can never...”
Rachelle nods.
“For me, Crayola.” Jaslene responds. “At this point, she is not showcasing herself at her best.”
“Now, Zazu is clearly at the bottom.” Fiore purses her lips. “But if I’m being honest, at this point, Jaslene isn’t delivering anything new either, I don’t think.” Fiore nods. “Like you have said she has been, for a lack of a better term… flat-lining these past several episodes.”
Jaslene looks surprised, as well as Rachelle.
Jaslene Bangus: “What the fuck?”
“Let her fight for the bottom.” Fiore shrugs.
Jaslene rolls her eyes.
“I do agree with Zazu.” Yasmin nods. “Unfortunately.”
“Thank you, racers. Whilst we deliberate, you may untuck backstage in the Crystal Lounge, sponsored by Princess Papaya Tropical Drinks.”
~
The racers enter the platinum lounge.
Jaslene stomps in, grabbing a drink before turning to face Fiore.
“What the fuck?” Jaslene says.
Fiore raises an eyebrow. "What's the matter, Jaslene? Did I say something wrong?"
Jaslene clenches her fists, clearly pissed. "You think it's okay to throw me under the bus like that? Saying I should fight for the bottom? What the hell girl? I thought you were my sister?”
Fiore smirks, taking a sip of her drink. “Please, Jaslene. I was just stating m ytruth, what I have been seeing these past few weeks- If you can't handle a little critique, maybe you're not cut out for this competition. I feel as if you haven’t been delivering, and to me, you’re dead weight, right now."
Fiore Stravaganza: “Real talk, I said her name because simply put, at this point, I feel the AE girls have been holding me back. I need my brand focused on me.”
Jaslene's trembles. "You have no right to judge me, Fiore. You act like you're better than all of us, but you're just a mean-spirited queen hiding behind a pretty face."
“Darling, you came up with the name PRETTY GIRLS, I’m not just pretty, I’m gorgeous.” Fiore growls. “I was just being honest.”
“Honest?!” Jaselene rolls her eyes. “You’re acting nasty.”
Fiore's eyes narrow, her composure slipping for a moment. "Watch your words, Jaslene. I may be straightforward, but at least I'm not deluding myself like some queens here. I speak the truth, and if you can't handle it, that's your problem. Now go fix your hair."
Jaslene looks as if she is ready to scream, as Omari raises his hand in between them. “Let’s not.”
“I just..” Jaslene rolls her eyes. “Whatever.” Jaslene walks off.
“Beef.” Aguacate giggles.
“...Can I ask, what is going on Fiore?” Omari asks. “Like, there’s this switch..”
“There’s no switch.” Fiore responds quickly, looking at Omari. “I’ve always been competitive here, and clearly you haven’t been paying attention.”
Omari rolls his eyes. “Alright.”
“How is everyone else?” Granny asks.
“I am disappointed to be in the bottom again, but girl- I love to perform.” Zazu puts in an earphone. “So, I'm going to give my all.”
Zazu Nova: “A stage is where I shine. That- I am not scared of.” Zazu grins.
“For me, it’s-” Crayola sighs.
Crayola pauses, and looks down. "I don't know, guys. I'm just... I'm really struggling right now. I feel like I'm not good enough, like I don't belong here. And seeing myself disappoint week after week, it's really taking a toll on me."
“You won last week, girl.” Fiore adds.
Yasmin puts a hand on Crayola’s shoulder. "Hey, hey, none of that talk, okay? You are talented, Crayola, and you absolutely belong here. We all have our off weeks, but that doesn't define who we are as queens. You have so much more to offer, and I believe in you."
“I just wish you didn’t say your own name.” Omari says.
King Omari Star: “I would never say my own name. I will always fight. And Crayola… it is a strange response.”
Crayola looks up at Yasmin, tearing up. "Thank you, Yasmin. I'm just scared of going home, you know? I don't want to let myself down or let anyone else down."
Yasmin pulls Crayola into a warm hug. "I understand that fear, but remember, this is just a moment in our journey. It doesn't define our worth or our future. We've come so far, and we're all here to support each other. You are loved and valued, Crayola."
Granny smiles. “We're a family here, and we lift each other up. Don't let negative thoughts bring you down. Embrace your uniqueness and shine."
Granny Gorgeous: “I feel the same, though. This is… scary.”
Aguacate chimes in with a grin. "Exactly, mija! We all have our strengths and weaknesses, but together, we make this competition fierce. Keep your head high and remember why you're here."
“Vroom vroom.” Zazu winks.
Jaslene looks in the mirror, combing her hair before sitting next to Omari.
Jaslene Bangus: “Well, I guess that’s over.”
Fiore and Jaslene look at each other for a second.
Jaslene Bangus: “Full steam ahead.”
~
“Welcome back, racers. We’ve made some decisions.”
…
“Fiore, Jaslene, you’re safe.”
The two look at each other before walking separate sides of the stage.
“Omari. Yasmin. Great work. You’re safe.”
The two grin.
“Aguacate, this week you made us CACKLE. Condragulations, you are the winner of this week’s challenge.”
Aguacate jumps for joy. “WOOHOO”
Aguacate: “Another one.” Aguacate winks. “I I think I’m a frontrunner.”
…
…
“Granny, you’re safe.”
Granny bows.
“That means Zazu Nova and Crayola Boxx, I’m sorry my dears, but you are up for elimination.”
“The time has come… for you to lip sync to your life!”
**Conga by Gloria Estefan starts to play**
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54ItEmCnP80
“Good luck… and don’t fuck it up!”
Zazu Nova: “I know this is my fourth time, but lip syncing is what I do. I’m never going down without a FIGHT!”
Crayola Boxx: “I’m giving my heart. That’s all I can do.”
~
Next Time!
Racers, it’s time to makeover your loved ones!
“My WIFE!” Omari yells, tearing up.
“Woah.” Aguacate stares awkwardly.
“I’m going to shit on these bitches.” Jaslene smirks.
“Oh, another bodysuit?” Fiore looks at Jaslene.
Fiore Stravaganza: “This is MY moment.”
~
Stats
Voting
Spreadsheet

I just want to say that I'm not interested in hearing about the mediocre "benefits" coming from these medical mal-practitioners mouths, I already know that circumcision is a fraud. Also, babies aren't born religious or culturally aware.
I hate being a circumcised man because a natural and healthy part of me was cut off and I couldn't consent. Like, WTF? What's wrong with people? Genital Mutilation shouldn't be a parental choice, it's torture! I was circumcised after birth in the hospital (do no harm my butt). How would some moron at the AAP know whether or not I'd appreciate being circumcised later in life? Is keeping my foreskin too much too ask for now? God forbid I have a choice in the matter! I don't want to be American branded, I want to resemble God! I believe in intelligent design and I wouldn't consent if I had the choice.
Thanks America! You protected me from getting a tattoo, but not genital cutting! Can't wait to sign up for the Selective Service!

My boyfriend isn’t a cat or indoor pet person
My boyfriend R (37M) and I (26F) have been dating for a year now, and we’ve started talking about what our plans are for eventually getting engaged and moving in together. One thing we do keep struggling with is the fact that I have a cat (15lb chonky fluffy boy named P). It’s frustrating me that P has become a sore topic between us.
R likes P, he plays with him well, and will feed him and clean his litter occasionally if I have to leave town for work alone. R is very adamant that he wants me to keep P and that he is not telling me to get rid of him at all, but needs me to make changes and compromises if we are going to live together.
His issue is mainly the pet hair, but also the cat smell. He grew up in a house where they had a dog but the dog wasn’t allowed inside. He’s also a very clean person. Like spotless house all the time. I’m averagely clean, bordering on messy if I get busy, but I have been working on not over scheduling myself to that point. I have ADHD as well, and I mention that just to say that being clean seems to take more effort for me, and I have been making a lot more effort to be organized and clean just as a CBT strategy for my ADHD and anxiety. On top of that, I do clean more when he is staying over, especially since we’ve talked about this.
The pet hair just doesn’t bother me, Ive accepted it as part of having a pet and it’s worth it for having my cat around. We snuggle a lot, and I’m always full of hair after, but I barely notice or care. I just go about my day. But R is very hesitant about the idea of living together because if P. He says he wants to in theory, but whenever we talk about it logistically, my cat feels like the main hurdle.
I get frustrated because it feels like my relationship with my cat is changing as my relationship with R grows. It makes me doubt myself and ask if I am being true to myself or if I’m giving up too much of myself and P for my relationship. But I love R and we have so many hobbies and other lifestyle things in common besides this. This issue has been particularly difficult for me to not be defensive about. I feel myself shut down and it’s difficult to talk about it without becoming frustrated and resentful. R makes a face or a noise when P yawns and has stinky breath, or when P licks my face, it makes me really annoyed. It used to P and I snuggling and home alot together for so long when I was single. We used to sleep together every night. R doesn’t like P in the bed, and if we sit on the coach, he’s clearly uncomfortable with P so close if he comes over to snuggle me and R. R is a very warm and affectionate at home and with PDA most of the time, unless P is around bc he doesn’t want to be too close to him. It makes me feel like I have to pick between my boyfriend and my cat. When I explain that to him, it makes him upset because he feels like it’s me and P against him and he’s intruding in our life.
The compromises we’ve come up with are: 1. get a good quality robot vacuum 2. I bought multiple XL throw blankets to keep covering the couch. I wash them and rotate them every night that R is over. 3. P doesn’t get on or in the bed 4. Get rid of cat smell 5. Clean more
Things he suggested that I really do not like and will not do: 6. if we live together then P has his own area of the house, or he has a place for him to sleep inside where he can go in and out freely from, but doesn’t have access to the rest of the house, so the hair stays in one zone
The compromises I think are good in theory but are unrealistic 7. clean P whenever P comes back inside
It still feels like all of that still isn’t clean enough. 4 and 5 are too vague that it’s just stressful to think about and make me feel like I’m not doing a good enough job with everything I’m already doing. I told him that if the house still isn’t clean enough then he needs to do more cleaning with me.
It feels like we have the same tense differences every time we discuss what needs to happen before we can move in together. Can you give me suggestions on anything that could help? Different compromises, tips on cat smell, tips on pet hair, tips when someone is a cat person and the other isn’t, different boundaries when moving in together?
TLDR: my boyfriend likes my cat but can’t stand pet hair or smell, it’s an issue between us living together that has become a tense topic.

Long time lurker, first time poster! After typing this out for a different sub I thought, wow I mentioned MIL TOOOO many times for this to not be a post about her and not in this sub lol. I'm having trouble finding the vocabulary to tell off my MIL in a respectful way for her meddling and gossiping! My husband is sick of me talking about this and I would truly love and appreciate an outside perspective because I feel like I'm losing my mind.
_____________________________________________________
When my (34f) husband (35m) first got together, his mom did not like me. Early on I had met my SIL once and it seemed like we'd get along great, but by the next time I saw her, I would receive the cold-shoulder that has managed to last the last 11yrs. Eventually I ended up reconciling with my MIL, by this time my husband and I have been together for ~4yrs. Her and I aired everything out between us, and discovered during this time that the reason why my MIL and SIL didn't like me was because my husband was ranting/complaining about me and our issues within our relationship - to his mother, who would then go back and tell SIL. So they weren't getting a good image of me. He said I was nagging him, pushy, and confrontational. But not without reason of course!
I do want to touch on these issues a bit because they could come across ambiguous: we were 24 and 26 when bf and I got together. There was infidelity on his part and times when I held him accountable for his actions and behaviors. He didn't like this and would go back and whine to his mom about it. Before you jump down my throat - yes, he has learned through extensive couples/individual therapy that sharing with his mother like this was NOT ok, and does not do this anymore. In his defense, he didn't have boundaries with his mother, and thought he could trust her to give good advice, and to not put his business on front street!
We're great now relationship-wise. We were young when we got together, but we've gone on to build a terrific life together.
Anyway.
MIL begins to gently push us to reconcile with SIL. This started up soon after MIL and I made up, and I wanted to make the effort for my husband and his mom. To show that I was trying to 'be apart of the family.' I was apprehensive at first but she said it was important to her, and she didn't like her kids fighting. At the time I wanted very much for MIL to like me, to accept me and I felt like I was responsible for it somehow, so I gave in.
For a period of about 18mos we tried time after time to make up with SIL, I sent her messages on social media and never got a response. Relayed messages through MIL to her. My husband asked her for all of us to sit down and work out our issues, and got no response.Whenever I saw her, I was met with complete indifference. She would go out of her way to ignore me, act as if I didn't exist, wouldn't even look me in the eye or acknowledge me. Many of my efforts were shut down in front of their family members and my SIL would tell them - in front of me - that she didn't like me.
It was rude and embarrassing. I want to be super clear about this part - at this point, I had no expectations of having a real relationship with SIL. My personal opinion of it all was that we didn't have to like each other, or even talk much but that we'd have some sort of mutual respect for each other, and not treat me the way she does. I felt we should have been able to just say "hello" and keep it moving!! Literally, that's it.
I asked MIL whhyyyy she thought SIL was so resistant to making up and she looked at me and said: "Don't worry about it honey, she's a bigot anyway." My boyfriends family is white. I am black & Filipino. By all accounts, I present black, but have defining Asian features. I'm not sure why my MIL would tell me this unless it was a gentle way of telling me SIL didn't like me because of the color of my skin. My husband also confirmed this bit of information as well.
After some time, husband and I decide that we've made our effort, said our peace - its not us, it was her. We made the effort, and she didn't want that so we respected it and backed off. We let MIL know that we tried, but the ball was in her court and it was now up to her if she wanted any sort of relationship with us. My boyfriend said that we "wouldn't close the door" if she wanted to reach out at anytime.
But I did close the door. All this time later, I don't want anything to do with her.
I had time during those 18mo of basically groveling, to realize that I didn't even have anything to apologize for. I racked my brain for a million hours trying to figure out what I did. I never spoke to her after I saw her the first time, so what did I do wrong? She heard about (one sided) problems in my relationship and chose to hate me for that? Why was my MIL so insistent on ME apologizing?
Boyfriend and I decide to move away, out of state. A couple years later at the top of 2021, my boyfriend turns into a fiance, to a husband, to a dad and I get pregnant! I gave birth to our precious baby in September. Throughout my pregnancy MIL started to insist again on me and husband to reach out to SIL. This is put made me put MIL on ice kinda because she knows what we went through and she repeatedly asks us to make up with her. We got shut down and we accepted it. We told her we would no longer be extending any olive branch to her.
She will not stop bringing up SIL, ATP I'm not sure how to say it nicely anymore, me or my husband. I strongly believe that it's because SIL wants to meet our baby. MIL said in passing during a visist that SIL has the right to meet her nephew and if she had to apologize to do it, she would. Ohhhh so you wouldn't apologize before, but now that we have a baby and you feel left out....we should accommodate you? Because you've been SO accommodating to me.
SIL had been notified by family members of us getting engaged, married and now having a baby and she never once made an effort to extend HER olive branch to make up, and we're supposed to reach out to her?! NO!
I'm sorry, if you aren't cool with US, the parents of the child at the very least, why do you think you can see our baby? Because you're my husbands sister? She isn't anymore an aunt to my child than she is a sister to my husband. Someone whom she only reaches out to when SHE wants something. SIL has shown time and time again that she doesn't like me, doesn't respect me, and doesn't respect her brother.
And, for the cherry on top - why would I let a BIGOT even touch my child?! Why would I want me and my child, (both brown people) anywhere near near someone like her!? I really feel like they're playing in my face!!
My MIL wants us to stay with her at her house, shes being overly generous by offering her house and her car to us so we don't have to spend any money and only pay for our flights. She is so insistent on this, reminding us every time we talk that "we'll stay with her, right?" Money is not an issue, and because of how busy my husband is at work this will be our first visit home/vacation since the pandemic so "spending money" is no big deal if it means we're comfortable and have a good time. She also brings up SIL every call as well. Stop trying to make her happen! Its not going to happen.
Its all so triggering and frustrating, even in writing this my MIL is so involved as well and it freaks me out! Even my own mother is not this invested. I suspect that MIL feels guilty for painting me in a bad light to SIL so she's trying to force a reconciliation between us, but in doing so and trying to justify SIL's behavior has painted SIL in a bad light to me, completing the circle.
I feel like shes doing it again, I'm not even sure if she knows she's doing it or not.
I guess my question is:
Should I stand my ground about SIL not meeting my baby and stipulating that she needs to create a relationship with US the parents? How can I be firm and respectful (do I at this point??) and get my point across? Am I being difficult if I don't want to accept SIL's fake, half assed apology? If my husband wants a relationship with them, that's fine, that's his family, but I'd just realllllly like to be left alone to raise my baby with my husband in peace, and with literally NO interference from his mom/family.

I am filing for divorce from my narcissist husband and I am scared at the financial uncertainty.
He would rather me to go to court, get an index number and go through the headache of filing for divorce; getting a free attorney because I haven’t worked in nearly 2 years to stay home and care for our son. Than to sign the divorce petition and have an amicable separation. He wants me to file for a restraining order “in order to know the relationship is really done”.
He wants to make it hard for me and punish me for wanting to leave. As if he’s the reason I am alive and fed. I feel so stupid for having another baby and losing my autonomy, income and freedom.
I am embarrassed I had children with him. If he does this to me and claims to love me I can’t imagine how he will treat our children.
I hate his guts he’s so despicable and disgusting. Instead of walking away peacefully since he’s the one that cheated & failed to keep his word at reconciling, respecting me, meeting my needs and putting in effort.

Hi all, I'm in a little bit of a pickle. I am a 45F and a highschool calculus teacher in Eastern United States for past couple decades. I've been dating a younger guy (20M)for past two years whom I met on tinder ( He was never a student at the highschool I teach at. But however, he has mentioned that one of my students older brothers (who doesn't go to my school) is one of his close friends.
We have one child together (both our first) and I recently came back to work from maternity leave. It wasn't supposed to be long term relationship but here we are. We are quite happy and things have been working out well so far and we plan to have a quiet small wedding in few months.
My coworkers know I'm in a relationship and obviously about the kid but they don't know about the age difference and they never met him or seen pics of him. Since it's summer and all I've been invited to number of barbecues at my colleagues homes. I've usually gone alone or just with my baby. My colleagues usually bring their partners. I can tell my fiance is getting a little frustrated and all about being excluded. Idk how long I can keep this up tbh
I'm just a little paranoid about my job being in jeopardy if anyone finds out and decide to pass around ridiculous rumors. I've never been nor never will be involved with a student. Is it a good idea to bring my fiance to the social events or is it in my best interest to just keep my private life separate for long as I can?

TIL that I was supposed to be giving my baby vitamin D supplements. He's 5wks old today and I had no idea, I feel like a failure as a mom. I met with a lactation consultant for the first time outside of the hospital and I asked her about it since I saw a vitamin listed on the paperwork I got from the pediatrician Friday. She just explained what it was and said to start it. Out of curiosity I googled about it when I got home and it said you are supposed to start this basically from birth. My poor baby and his bones 😭 I picked some up on my way home to start now but OMG the guilt.

Conflicted about whether to bring my younger partner to coworkers house for a barbecue
Hi all, I'm in a little bit of a pickle. I am a 45F and a highschool calculus teacher in Eastern United States for past couple decades. I've been dating a younger guy (20M)for past two years whom I met on tinder ( He was never a student at the highschool I teach at. But however, he has mentioned that one of my students older brothers (who doesn't go to my school) is one of his close friends.
We have one child together (both our first) and I recently came back to work from maternity leave. It wasn't supposed to be long term relationship but here we are. We are quite happy and things have been working out well so far and we plan to have a quiet small wedding in few months.
My coworkers know I'm in a relationship and obviously about the kid but they don't know about the age difference and they never met him or seen pics of him. Since it's summer and all I've been invited to number of barbecues at my colleagues homes. I've usually gone alone or just with my baby. My colleagues usually bring their partners. I can tell my fiance is getting a little frustrated and all about being excluded. Idk how long I can keep this up tbh
I'm just a little paranoid about my job being in jeopardy if anyone finds out and decide to pass around ridiculous rumors. I've never been nor never will be involved with a student. Is it a good idea to bring my fiance to the social events or is it in my best interest to just keep my private life separate for long as I can?