Family farm and home holland mi

r/HTPC - Home Theater PC

2009.11.01 02:22 kostakrauth r/HTPC - Home Theater PC

Home Theater PC - Drive your home theater media experience with a PC or media device.

2014.05.10 19:01 geekerjoy1 Welcome to Brave Moggie Island - home of Felicity Farm!

Brave Moggie Island is the westermost, middlemost island off the westermost, middlemost side of /Snooland. We're the one shaped like a swimming fishie! We are home to an eco-friendly Tea/Herb farm, a lovely Tea Shoppe, a fun and whimsical Souvenir Hut and a refreshing beachside Tea Bar! Come spend some time at our fun and family-friendly Kitty Petting Zoo or find your inner Zen in our Brave Moggie Memorial Gardens!

2014.01.12 03:43 thegloriouswombat Buffalo Bisons - AAA affiliate of the Toronto Blue Jays

This is the Reddit Community for The Buffalo Bisons, a professional Minor League Baseball team based in Buffalo, New York. They play in the International League and are the Triple-A affiliate of the Toronto Blue Jays. The Bisons play at Sahlen Field in downtown Buffalo.

2023.06.06 04:22 thezebrashead Maltipoo 11 weeks Separation Anxiety

Hi all! I got my maltipoo one week ago tomorrow. She was anxious when she came home but took to me immediately. I’m a teacher on summer break so I have been the one spending the most time with her between me and my fiancee. She cries and barks every time I leave the room, even if my fiancee is right there with her. She also cries if she can’t get to me, even if I am in her sight. For example if she is on the bed and I am a foot or two away from her, she will whine and bark at me. She also cries if I put her in her playpen and walk around to clean up. She cries even if I give her food, treats, or a lick mat. Should I be concerned? Can I expect this to lessen as she becomes more comfortable? I know it is scary to be taken from your family, so I’m not sure if this is just her getting used to her new home. Do I need to be working with her on being alone or will it get better as she ages?Any advice would be appreciated.
submitted by thezebrashead to puppy101 [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 04:21 RosiePosie0110 I JUST BOUGHT MY FIRST CAR

I'm 26F, 4yrs working experience.
Ever since na nagstart ako magwork kami kaming magkakapatid na may work ang sumasalo sa Loan ng magulang ko, naka-collateral kasi yung bahay namin.
tapos ako na rin sumasalo sa every day needs ng family ko na nandito sa probinsya kasi nasa Manila yung dalawa kong kapatid.
Grabe yung bigat na Dalawa ang Pamilya sa isang bubong. Yep, sinasalo ko rin pamilya ng kuya ko, since wala sya work and nag-aaral pa daw.. (nakabuntis kasi kuya ko that time, sinalo ng mama ko which is di namin gustong magkakapatid.. wala lang kami magawa)
Ako na sumalo since matanda na mama ko and wala mga kapatid ko sa probinsya. Sila na bahala sa allowance ni mama (for maintenance)
Wala naman ako problem dito as long as may limitations, like may Grocery Limit ako sa Bahay para sa lahat, and di ko shoulder mga School Expenses ng mga anak nila (they have 3kids na) --- tulong ko nalang sa kuya ko tong kinakain nila sa araw araw plus electricity and water consumption..
I worked 3 jobs 1 full time and 2 part times.
I do exercises at home and jogging every Sat (just to make me sane)
KAYA NAKAKA-IYAK MAY CAR NAKO! (2nd hand/Surplus nga lang)
GOD will always provide talaga when everything you do is in Good Faith talaga..
Ang tanging Wish ko nalang is yung ggod health ng mom ko at pumasa kuya ko sa Vet Board Exam, I'll give him 6mos na mag-ipon.. tapos magbukod na sila..
submitted by RosiePosie0110 to adultingph [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 04:21 Working_Opposite8706 Im 20 and want to adopt, what should I do to prepare?

Im a 20 yo single male, Id love to adopt in 1-2 years from now, im a business owner so I would have all the time in the world for the kid(s). income is high and stable, im about to move into my dream home, id love to be able to share it with a child that needs a loving home.
The only downside is that i am single, but i do have unlimited time where I can always be with the child. I dont really have a preference for age, race or anything. I saw a family today that adopted 2 children with disabilities they were the sweetest kids i want to be able to help kids in need like they did.
1-2 years is an ideal timeline but completely open to waiting too, but i was wondering is there anything i should be doing in the meantime to prepare/ learn about the process?
submitted by Working_Opposite8706 to Adoption [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 04:20 SuspiciousRepeat7285 Tired of asking husband for attention. Im 27F husband 33M

Honestly I really just need to tell someone about my situation. Me and my husband are married for almost 7 years. We have a 2 years old. He's a great father, a good provider for our family. But I'm constantly having to ask him for attention. He won't get off stupid games on his phone, or doing anything to spend any time. It sucks, I have no family in this country(I'm from Brasil) he and my kid are my family. But I feel like we are just roommates.
He doesn't show any kind of affection. I spend all day taking care of our toddler, our house, and waiting to spend some time, but he just don't care. He claims that Americans are like that and I need to stop complaining. I would never divorce him bc of my son. I can't never share this with my family in Brazil. like today he got home at 7pm, took a shower and it’s playing on game room. not it’s 10:15 pm and I’m alone I’m bed . I just feel so alone. If I don’t engage in sex he won’t. So now I don’t even ask , I don’t want someone “sexing” me because they “have” to. Maybe sharing here will help. I’m overreacting?
submitted by SuspiciousRepeat7285 to u/SuspiciousRepeat7285 [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 04:19 therenamed Decided to become my siblings bank - general advice

Hi - obviously I’m going to get some professional advice and contracts done up..
But just look at some general advice,
My two sisters have about 600k of their home loans left (combined) - both single working mums - both have full time permanent jobs - but rather low income. They are feeling the pinch.
I was looking at investing into part of a solar farm with that money - that had around 4.4% ROI (very rough estimate nothing firm on that) .
So I’m offering them 300k(ish) each at 3.5% for 5 years.
I have never done this before.
I have a accountant that can take care of the tax side of things.
What are some things to look out for.
What sort of expenses should I make sure I’ve covered before making the final call to do it.
Legal/accounting or otherwise
submitted by therenamed to AusFinance [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 04:19 ennuiCryptid Could not execute entrypoint stage 'main' due to errors, provided by 'create'!

im making a modpack for me and my friends and i want create in it but whenever i add create all i get is the message above. it works when i dont have create but for some reason whenever i add the mod, the whole thing doesn't work
---- Minecraft Crash Report ---- // Don't be sad, have a hug! <3 Time: 2023-06-05 22:15:54 Description: Initializing game java.lang.RuntimeException: Could not execute entrypoint stage 'main' due to errors, provided by 'create'! at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.entrypoint.EntrypointUtils.lambda$invoke0$0( at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.util.ExceptionUtil.gatherExceptions( at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.entrypoint.EntrypointUtils.invoke0( at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.entrypoint.EntrypointUtils.invoke( at at net.minecraft.class_310.( at net.minecraft.client.main.Main.method_44604( at net.minecraft.client.main.Main.main( at at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.knot.Knot.launch( at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.knot.KnotClient.main( Caused by: java.lang.NoClassDefFoundError: io/github/fabricators_of_create/porting_lib/fake_players/FakePlayer at java.base/java.lang.ClassLoader.defineClass1(Native Method) at java.base/java.lang.ClassLoader.defineClass( at java.base/ at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.knot.KnotClassLoader.defineClassFwd( at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.knot.KnotClassDelegate.tryLoadClass( at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.knot.KnotClassDelegate.loadClass( at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.knot.KnotClassLoader.loadClass( at java.base/java.lang.ClassLoader.loadClass( at com.simibubi.create.AllBlocks.( at com.simibubi.create.Create.onInitialize( at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.entrypoint.EntrypointUtils.invoke0( ... 8 more Caused by: java.lang.ClassNotFoundException: io.github.fabricators_of_create.porting_lib.fake_players.FakePlayer at java.base/jdk.internal.loader.BuiltinClassLoader.loadClass( at java.base/java.lang.ClassLoader.loadClass( at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.knot.KnotClassDelegate.loadClass( at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.knot.KnotClassLoader.loadClass( at java.base/java.lang.ClassLoader.loadClass( ... 19 more A detailed walkthrough of the error, its code path and all known details is as follows: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- Head -- Thread: Render thread Stacktrace: at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.entrypoint.EntrypointUtils.lambda$invoke0$0( at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.util.ExceptionUtil.gatherExceptions( at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.entrypoint.EntrypointUtils.invoke0( at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.entrypoint.EntrypointUtils.invoke( at at net.minecraft.class_310.( -- Initialization -- Details: Modules: ADVAPI32.dll:Advanced Windows 32 Base API:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation COMCTL32.dll:User Experience Controls Library:6.10 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation CRYPT32.dll:Crypto API32:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation CRYPTBASE.dll:Base cryptographic API DLL:10.0.19041.546 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation CRYPTSP.dll:Cryptographic Service Provider API:10.0.19041.546 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation DBGHELP.DLL:Windows Image Helper:10.0.19041.867 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation DNSAPI.dll:DNS Client API DLL:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation GDI32.dll:GDI Client DLL:10.0.19041.2913 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation IMM32.DLL:Multi-User Windows IMM32 API Client DLL:10.0.19041.2673 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation IPHLPAPI.DLL:IP Helper API:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation KERNEL32.DLL:Windows NT BASE API Client DLL:10.0.19041.2788 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation KERNELBASE.dll:Windows NT BASE API Client DLL:10.0.19041.2788 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation NLAapi.dll:Network Location Awareness 2:10.0.19041.2913 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation NSI.dll:NSI User-mode interface DLL:10.0.19041.610 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation NTASN1.dll:Microsoft ASN.1 API:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation Ole32.dll:Microsoft OLE for Windows:10.0.19041.1320 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation OleAut32.dll:OLEAUT32.DLL:10.0.19041.985 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation PSAPI.DLL:Process Status Helper:10.0.19041.546 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation Pdh.dll:Windows Performance Data Helper DLL:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation RPCRT4.dll:Remote Procedure Call Runtime:10.0.19041.2788 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation SHCORE.dll:SHCORE:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation SHELL32.dll:Windows Shell Common Dll:10.0.19041.964 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation USER32.dll:Multi-User Windows USER API Client DLL:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation USERENV.dll:Userenv:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation VCRUNTIME140.dll:Microsoft® C Runtime Library:14.29.30139.0 built by: vcwrkspc:Microsoft Corporation VERSION.dll:Version Checking and File Installation Libraries:10.0.19041.546 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation WINHTTP.dll:Windows HTTP Services:10.0.19041.2075 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation WINMM.dll:MCI API DLL:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation WS2_32.dll:Windows Socket 2.0 32-Bit DLL:10.0.19041.1081 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation WSOCK32.dll:Windows Socket 32-Bit DLL:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation Wldp.dll:Windows Lockdown Policy:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation amsi.dll:Anti-Malware Scan Interface:10.0.19041.2075 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation bcrypt.dll:Windows Cryptographic Primitives Library:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation bcryptPrimitives.dll:Windows Cryptographic Primitives Library:10.0.19041.2486 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation clbcatq.dll:COM+ Configuration Catalog:2001.12.10941.16384 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation combase.dll:Microsoft COM for Windows:10.0.19041.1320 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation dbgcore.DLL:Windows Core Debugging Helpers:10.0.19041.2788 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation dhcpcsvc.DLL:DHCP Client Service:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation dhcpcsvc6.DLL:DHCPv6 Client:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation fwpuclnt.dll:FWP/IPsec User-Mode API:10.0.19041.2913 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation gdi32full.dll:GDI Client DLL:10.0.19041.2913 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation glfw.dll:GLFW 3.4.0 DLL:3.4.0:GLFW java.dll:OpenJDK Platform binary: javaw.exe:OpenJDK Platform binary: jemalloc.dll jimage.dll:OpenJDK Platform binary: jli.dll:OpenJDK Platform binary: jna11966046078765489236.dll:JNA native library:6.1.2:Java(TM) Native Access (JNA) jsvml.dll:OpenJDK Platform binary: jvm.dll:OpenJDK 64-Bit server VM: kernel.appcore.dll:AppModel API Host:10.0.19041.546 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation lwjgl.dll management.dll:OpenJDK Platform binary: management_ext.dll:OpenJDK Platform binary: msvcp140.dll:Microsoft® C Runtime Library:14.29.30139.0 built by: vcwrkspc:Microsoft Corporation msvcp_win.dll:Microsoft® C Runtime Library:10.0.19041.789 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation msvcrt.dll:Windows NT CRT DLL:7.0.19041.546 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation mswsock.dll:Microsoft Windows Sockets 2.0 Service Provider:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation napinsp.dll:E-mail Naming Shim Provider:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation ncrypt.dll:Windows NCrypt Router:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation net.dll:OpenJDK Platform binary: nio.dll:OpenJDK Platform binary: ntdll.dll:NT Layer DLL:10.0.19041.2788 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation perfos.dll:Windows System Performance Objects DLL:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation pnrpnsp.dll:PNRP Name Space Provider:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation profapi.dll:User Profile Basic API:10.0.19041.844 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation rasadhlp.dll:Remote Access AutoDial Helper:10.0.19041.546 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation rsaenh.dll:Microsoft Enhanced Cryptographic Provider:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation sechost.dll:Host for SCM/SDDL/LSA Lookup APIs:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation shlwapi.dll:Shell Light-weight Utility Library:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation sunmscapi.dll:OpenJDK Platform binary: ucrtbase.dll:Microsoft® C Runtime Library:10.0.19041.789 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation vcruntime140_1.dll:Microsoft® C Runtime Library:14.29.30139.0 built by: vcwrkspc:Microsoft Corporation verify.dll:OpenJDK Platform binary: win32u.dll:Win32u:10.0.19041.2913 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation WinRT Storage API:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation winrnr.dll:LDAP RnR Provider DLL:10.0.19041.546 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation wshbth.dll:Windows Sockets Helper DLL:10.0.19041.546 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation wshunix.dll:AF_UNIX Winsock2 Helper DLL:10.0.19041.1 (WinBuild.160101.0800):Microsoft Corporation zip.dll:OpenJDK Platform binary: Stacktrace: at net.minecraft.client.main.Main.method_44604( at net.minecraft.client.main.Main.main( at at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.knot.Knot.launch( at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.knot.KnotClient.main( -- System Details -- Details: Minecraft Version: 1.19.2 Minecraft Version ID: 1.19.2 Operating System: Windows 10 (amd64) version 10.0 Java Version: 17.0.3, Microsoft Java VM Version: OpenJDK 64-Bit Server VM (mixed mode), Microsoft Memory: 442713248 bytes (422 MiB) / 1077936128 bytes (1028 MiB) up to 4294967296 bytes (4096 MiB) CPUs: 2 Processor Vendor: AuthenticAMD Processor Name: AMD Athlon Silver 3050U with Radeon Graphics Identifier: AuthenticAMD Family 23 Model 24 Stepping 1 Microarchitecture: Zen / Zen+ Frequency (GHz): 2.30 Number of physical packages: 1 Number of physical CPUs: 2 Number of logical CPUs: 2 Graphics card #0 name: AMD Radeon(TM) Graphics Graphics card #0 vendor: Advanced Micro Devices, Inc. (0x1002) Graphics card #0 VRAM (MB): 2048.00 Graphics card #0 deviceId: 0x15d8 Graphics card #0 versionInfo: DriverVersion=27.20.15030.5001 Memory slot #0 capacity (MB): 4096.00 Memory slot #0 clockSpeed (GHz): 3.20 Memory slot #0 type: DDR4 Memory slot #1 capacity (MB): 4096.00 Memory slot #1 clockSpeed (GHz): 2.67 Memory slot #1 type: DDR4 Virtual memory max (MB): 25324.02 Virtual memory used (MB): 7698.28 Swap memory total (MB): 19264.00 Swap memory used (MB): 395.80 JVM Flags: 4 total; -XX:HeapDumpPath=MojangTricksIntelDriversForPerformance_javaw.exe_minecraft.exe.heapdump -Xss1M -Xmx4096m -Xms256m Fabric Mods: another_furniture: Another Furniture 2.1.2-1.19.2 appleskin: AppleSkin 2.4.1+mc1.19 architectury: Architectury 6.5.85 artifacts: Artifacts 7.1.1+fabric step-height-entity-attribute: Step Height Entity Attribute 1.0.0 autotag-convention: AutoTag Convention 2.0.0+1.19 autotag: AutoTag 2.0.0+1.19 balm-fabric: Balm 4.5.7 bclib: BCLib 2.1.6 beautify: Beautify 1.1.1+fabric-1.19.2 cardinal-components-base: Cardinal Components API (base) 5.0.2 cardinal-components-entity: Cardinal Components API (entities) 5.0.2 cardinal-components-world: Cardinal Components API (worlds) 5.0.2 beekeeperhut: Friends&Foes - Beekeeper Hut 1.2.0 betterdeserttemples: YUNG's Better Desert Temples 1.19.2-Fabric-2.2.2 org_reflections_reflections: reflections 0.10.2 betterend: Better End 2.1.5 betterfortresses: YUNG's Better Nether Fortresses 1.19.2-Fabric-1.0.5 betterfpsdist: Better FPS distance Mod 1.19-2.4 betternether: Better Nether 7.1.3 betterstats: Better Statistics Screen 2.8.1+1.19.2 tcdcommons: TCD Commons API 2.8+1.19.2 betterstrongholds: YUNG's Better Strongholds 1.19.2-Fabric-3.2.0 blanket-client-tweaks: Blanket Client-tweaks 1.1.2 byg: Oh The Biomes You'll Go com_electronwill_night-config_core: core 3.6.6 com_electronwill_night-config_toml: toml 3.6.6 c2me: Concurrent Chunk Management Engine 0.2.0+alpha.9.9 c2me-base: Concurrent Chunk Management Engine (Base) 0.2.0+alpha.9.9 c2me-client-uncapvd: Concurrent Chunk Management Engine (Client/Uncap View Distance) 0.2.0+alpha.9.9 c2me-fixes-chunkio-threading-issues: Concurrent Chunk Management Engine (Fixes/Chunk IO/Threading Issues) 0.2.0+alpha.9.9 c2me-fixes-general-threading-issues: Concurrent Chunk Management Engine (Fixes/General/Threading Issues) 0.2.0+alpha.9.9 c2me-fixes-worldgen-threading-issues: Concurrent Chunk Management Engine (Fixes/WorldGen/Threading Issues) 0.2.0+alpha.9.9 c2me-fixes-worldgen-vanilla-bugs: Concurrent Chunk Management Engine (Fixes/WorldGen/Vanilla Bugs) 0.2.0+alpha.9.9 c2me-notickvd: Concurrent Chunk Management Engine (No Tick View Distance) 0.2.0+alpha.9.9 c2me-opts-allocs: Concurrent Chunk Management Engine (Optimizations/Memory Allocations) 0.2.0+alpha.9.9 c2me-opts-chunk-access: Concurrent Chunk Management Engine (Optimizations/Chunk Access) 0.2.0+alpha.9.9 c2me-opts-chunkio: Concurrent Chunk Management Engine (Optimizations/Chunk IO) 0.2.0+alpha.9.9 c2me-opts-math: Concurrent Chunk Management Engine (Optimizations/Math) 0.2.0+alpha.9.9 c2me-opts-scheduling: Concurrent Chunk Management Engine (Optimizations/Scheduling) 0.2.0+alpha.9.9 c2me-opts-worldgen-general: Concurrent Chunk Management Engine (Optimizations/General WorldGen) 0.2.0+alpha.9.9 c2me-opts-worldgen-vanilla: Concurrent Chunk Management Engine (Optimizations/Vanilla WorldGen) 0.2.0+alpha.9.9 c2me-rewrites-chunkio: Concurrent Chunk Management Engine (Rewrites/Chunk IO) 0.2.0+alpha.9.9 c2me-server-utils: Concurrent Chunk Management Engine (Server Utils) 0.2.0+alpha.9.9 c2me-threading-chunkio: Concurrent Chunk Management Engine (Threading/WorldGen) 0.2.0+alpha.9.9 c2me-threading-lighting: Concurrent Chunk Management Engine (Threading/Lighting) 0.2.0+alpha.9.9 c2me-threading-scheduling: Concurrent Chunk Management Engine (Threading/Scheduling) 0.2.0+alpha.9.9 c2me-threading-worldgen: Concurrent Chunk Management Engine (Threading/WorldGen) 0.2.0+alpha.9.9 com_ibm_async_asyncutil: asyncutil 0.1.0 net_objecthunter_exp4j: exp4j 0.4.8 org_threadly_threadly: threadly 7.0 cardinal-components: Cardinal Components API 5.0.2 cardinal-components-block: Cardinal Components API (blocks) 5.0.2 cardinal-components-chunk: Cardinal Components API (chunks) 5.0.2 cardinal-components-item: Cardinal Components API (items) 5.0.2 cardinal-components-level: Cardinal Components API (world saves) 5.0.2 cardinal-components-scoreboard: Cardinal Components API (scoreboard) 5.0.2 carpet: Carpet Mod 1.4.84 carpet-fixes: Carpet Fixes 1.19-1.12.2 conditional-mixin: conditional mixin 0.3.1 chefsdelight: Chef's Delight 1.0.3-fabric-1.19.2 structurized-reborn: Structurized Reborn 1.19-01 chimes: Chimes 1.1.4 chipped: Chipped 2.1.5 chunksending: Chunksending Mod 1.19-2.5 chunky: Chunky 1.3.38 cloth-config: Cloth Config v8 8.2.88 cloth-basic-math: cloth-basic-math 0.6.1 clumps: Clumps 9.0.0+14 configured: Configured 2.0.0 controlling: Controlling For Fabric 10.0+7 create: Create 0.5.0.i-1017+1.19.2 com_google_code_findbugs_jsr305: jsr305 3.0.2 flywheel: Flywheel 0.6.8.a-4 milk: Milk Lib 1.0.51 dripstone_fluid_lib: Dripstone Fluid Lib 2.0.1 reach-entity-attributes: Reach Entity Attributes 2.3.0 registrate-fabric: Registrate for Fabric 1.1.57-MC1.19.2 forge_tags: Porting Lib Tags 3.0 porting_lib_model_generators: Porting Lib Model Generators 2.1.731+1.19.2 porting_lib_accessors: Porting Lib Accessors 2.1.731+1.19.2 porting_lib_attributes: Porting Lib Attributes 2.1.731+1.19.2 porting_lib_common: Porting Lib Common 2.1.731+1.19.2 porting_lib_constants: Porting Lib Constants 2.1.731+1.19.2 porting_lib_extensions: Porting Lib Extensions 2.1.731+1.19.2 porting_lib_model_loader: Porting Lib Model Loader 2.1.731+1.19.2 porting_lib_models: Porting Lib Models 2.1.731+1.19.2 porting_lib_obj_loader: Porting Lib Obj Loader 2.1.731+1.19.2 porting_lib_transfer: Porting Lib Transfer 2.1.731+1.19.2 creategoggles: Create Goggles createreibugfix: CreateFabric&REIBugFix 0.1.2-mc1.19.x creeperoverhaul: Creeper Overhaul 2.0.9 croptopia: Croptopia 2.2.2 com_typesafe_config: config 1.4.1 io_leangen_geantyref_geantyref: geantyref 1.3.11 org_spongepowered_configurate-core: configurate-core 4.1.2 org_spongepowered_configurate-hocon: configurate-hocon 4.1.2 ctm: ConnectedTexturesMod for Fabric 1.0.1+1.19 cull-less-leaves: Cull Less Leaves 1.0.6 cullclouds: Cull Clouds 0.1.0 decorative_blocks: Decorative Blocks 3.0.0 dungeons_arise: When Dungeons Arise 2.1.54 dynview: Dynamic View Mod 1.19-2.4 enhancedblockentities: Enhanced Block Entities 0.7.2+1.19.2 advanced_runtime_resource_pack: Runtime Resource Pack 0.6.2 spruceui: SpruceUI 4.0.0+1.19 entitycollisionfpsfix: Entity Collision FPS Fix expandability: ExpandAbility 7.0.0 extraorigins: Extra Origins 1.19-2 fabric-api: Fabric API 0.76.0+1.19.2 fabric-api-base: Fabric API Base 0.4.15+8f4e8eb390 fabric-api-lookup-api-v1: Fabric API Lookup API (v1) 1.6.14+93d8cb8290 fabric-biome-api-v1: Fabric Biome API (v1) 9.1.1+16f1e31390 fabric-block-api-v1: Fabric Block API (v1) 1.0.2+e415d50e90 fabric-blockrenderlayer-v1: Fabric BlockRenderLayer Registration (v1) 1.1.25+cafc6e8e90 fabric-client-tags-api-v1: Fabric Client Tags 1.0.5+b35fea8390 fabric-command-api-v1: Fabric Command API (v1) 1.2.16+f71b366f90 fabric-command-api-v2: Fabric Command API (v2) 2.2.1+413cbbc790 fabric-commands-v0: Fabric Commands (v0) 0.2.33+df3654b390 fabric-containers-v0: Fabric Containers (v0) 0.1.41+df3654b390 fabric-content-registries-v0: Fabric Content Registries (v0) 3.5.2+7c6cd14d90 fabric-convention-tags-v1: Fabric Convention Tags 1.3.0+4bc6e26290 fabric-crash-report-info-v1: Fabric Crash Report Info (v1) 0.2.8+aeb40ebe90 fabric-data-generation-api-v1: Fabric Data Generation API (v1) 5.3.8+413cbbc790 fabric-dimensions-v1: Fabric Dimensions API (v1) 2.1.35+0d0f210290 fabric-entity-events-v1: Fabric Entity Events (v1) 1.5.4+9244241690 fabric-events-interaction-v0: Fabric Events Interaction (v0) 0.4.34+562bff6e90 fabric-events-lifecycle-v0: Fabric Events Lifecycle (v0) 0.2.36+df3654b390 fabric-game-rule-api-v1: Fabric Game Rule API (v1) 1.0.24+b6b6abb490 fabric-item-api-v1: Fabric Item API (v1) 1.6.6+b7d1888890 fabric-item-groups-v0: Fabric Item Groups (v0) 0.3.39+9244241690 fabric-key-binding-api-v1: Fabric Key Binding API (v1) 1.0.25+5c4fce2890 fabric-keybindings-v0: Fabric Key Bindings (v0) 0.2.23+df3654b390 fabric-lifecycle-events-v1: Fabric Lifecycle Events (v1) 2.2.4+1b46dc7890 fabric-loot-api-v2: Fabric Loot API (v2) 1.1.13+83a8659290 fabric-loot-tables-v1: Fabric Loot Tables (v1) 1.1.16+9e7660c690 fabric-message-api-v1: Fabric Message API (v1) 5.0.7+93d8cb8290 fabric-mining-level-api-v1: Fabric Mining Level API (v1) 2.1.24+33fbc73890 fabric-models-v0: Fabric Models (v0) 0.3.21+c6af733c90 fabric-networking-api-v1: Fabric Networking API (v1) 1.2.11+10eb22f490 fabric-networking-v0: Fabric Networking (v0) 0.3.28+df3654b390 fabric-object-builder-api-v1: Fabric Object Builder API (v1) 4.2.2+d8ef690890 fabric-particles-v1: Fabric Particles (v1) 1.0.14+4d0d570390 fabric-recipe-api-v1: Fabric Recipe API (v1) 1.0.1+413cbbc790 fabric-registry-sync-v0: Fabric Registry Sync (v0) 0.9.32+9244241690 fabric-renderer-api-v1: Fabric Renderer API (v1) 1.2.1+1adbf27790 fabric-renderer-indigo: Fabric Renderer - Indigo 0.8.0+1adbf27790 fabric-renderer-registries-v1: Fabric Renderer Registries (v1) 3.2.24+df3654b390 fabric-rendering-data-attachment-v1: Fabric Rendering Data Attachment (v1) 0.3.19+6e0787e690 fabric-rendering-fluids-v1: Fabric Rendering Fluids (v1) 3.0.11+4d0d570390 fabric-rendering-v0: Fabric Rendering (v0) 1.1.27+df3654b390 fabric-rendering-v1: Fabric Rendering (v1) 1.12.1+d8ef690890 fabric-resource-conditions-api-v1: Fabric Resource Conditions API (v1) 2.1.2+aae9039d90 fabric-resource-loader-v0: Fabric Resource Loader (v0) 0.8.4+edbdcddb90 fabric-screen-api-v1: Fabric Screen API (v1) 1.0.32+4d0d570390 fabric-screen-handler-api-v1: Fabric Screen Handler API (v1) 1.3.7+1cc24b1b90 fabric-sound-api-v1: Fabric Sound API (v1) 1.0.2+c4f28df590 fabric-textures-v0: Fabric Textures (v0) 1.0.24+aeb40ebe90 fabric-transfer-api-v1: Fabric Transfer API (v1) 2.1.6+413cbbc790 fabric-transitive-access-wideners-v1: Fabric Transitive Access Wideners (v1) 1.3.3+08b73de490 fabric-language-kotlin: Fabric Language Kotlin 1.9.4+kotlin.1.8.21 org_jetbrains_kotlin_kotlin-reflect: kotlin-reflect 1.8.21 org_jetbrains_kotlin_kotlin-stdlib: kotlin-stdlib 1.8.21 org_jetbrains_kotlin_kotlin-stdlib-jdk7: kotlin-stdlib-jdk7 1.8.21 org_jetbrains_kotlin_kotlin-stdlib-jdk8: kotlin-stdlib-jdk8 1.8.21 org_jetbrains_kotlinx_atomicfu-jvm: atomicfu-jvm 0.20.2 org_jetbrains_kotlinx_kotlinx-coroutines-core-jvm: kotlinx-coroutines-core-jvm 1.6.4 org_jetbrains_kotlinx_kotlinx-coroutines-jdk8: kotlinx-coroutines-jdk8 1.6.4 org_jetbrains_kotlinx_kotlinx-datetime-jvm: kotlinx-datetime-jvm 0.4.0 org_jetbrains_kotlinx_kotlinx-serialization-cbor-jvm: kotlinx-serialization-cbor-jvm 1.5.0 org_jetbrains_kotlinx_kotlinx-serialization-core-jvm: kotlinx-serialization-core-jvm 1.5.0 org_jetbrains_kotlinx_kotlinx-serialization-json-jvm: kotlinx-serialization-json-jvm 1.5.0 fabricloader: Fabric Loader 0.14.21 farmersdelight: Farmer's Delight 1.19.2-1.3.9 farmersknives: Farmer's Knives 2.4 farmersrespite: Farmer's Respite 2.2.4 faster_entity_animations: FastAnim 1.5.7 fastfurnace: FastFurnace 1.19.2-5 fastopenlinksandfolders: FastOpenResourcePacks 1.1.1 fdjei: Just Enough Farmer's Recipes 1.0.1 ferritecore: FerriteCore 5.0.3 flowerymooblooms: Friends&Foes - Flowery Mooblooms 1.0.0 forgeconfigapiport: Forge Config API Port 4.2.11 friendsandfoes: Friends&Foes 1.8.2 ftbchunks: FTB Chunks 1902.3.21-build.266 ftblibrary: FTB Library 1902.3.19-build.214 ftbteams: FTB Teams 1902.2.13-build.100 fwaystones: Fabric Waystones 3.0.8+mc1.19.2 geckolib3: Geckolib 3.1.40 com_eliotlash_mclib_mclib: mclib 20 handcrafted: Handcrafted 2.0.6 hearth_and_home: Hearth & Home 1.19.2-1.0.1 hexal: Hexal 0.2.14 fiber: fiber 0.23.0-2 serialization_hooks: Serialization Hooks 0.3.24 hexcasting: Hex Casting 0.10.3 immersive_aircraft: Immersive Aircraft 0.4.2+1.19.2 indium: Indium 1.0.9+mc1.19.2 itemmodelfix: Item Model Fix 1.0.3+1.19 jade: Jade 8.7.3 java: OpenJDK 64-Bit Server VM 17 jei: Just Enough Items jeresources: Just Enough Resources jmi: JourneyMapIntegration 0.13-33 journeymap: Journeymap 5.9.7 journeymap-api-fabric: JourneyMap API 1.19.1-1.9-fabric-SNAPSHOT lazydfu: LazyDFU 0.1.3 lithium: Lithium 0.11.1 lootr: Lootr memoryleakfix: Memory Leak Fix 1.0.0 com_github_llamalad7_mixinextras: MixinExtras 0.2.0-beta.6 midnightlib: MidnightLib 1.0.0 minecraft: Minecraft 1.19.2 modmenu: Mod Menu 4.1.2 moonlight: Moonlight 1.19.2-2.2.37 moremobvariants: More Mob Variants 1.0.1 mousetweaks: Mouse Tweaks 2.22 naturalist: Naturalist 3.0.3a naturescompass: Nature's Compass 1.19.2-2.1.0-fabric nightlights: Night Lights 1.1 nnvf: No Night Vision Flickering 0.1.3 nochatreports: No Chat Reports 1.19.2-v1.13.12 origins: Origins 1.7.1 apoli: Apoli 2.6.1 additionalentityattributes: Additionalentityattributes 1.0.0+1.19 calio: Calio 1.7.0 playerabilitylib: Pal 1.6.0 originsumbrellas: Origins: Umbrellas 1.5.4 owo: oωo 0.8.5+1.19 blue_endless_jankson: jankson 1.2.1 patchouli: Patchouli 1.19.2-77-FABRIC patchoulibutton: PachouliButton 1.0.2 paucal: PAUCAL 0.5.0 pehkui: Pehkui 3.7.5+1.14.4-1.20 kanos_config: Kanos Config 0.4.1+1.14.4-1.19.4 polymorph: Polymorph 0.46.1+1.19.2 spectrelib: SpectreLib 0.11.0+1.19 porting_lib: Porting Lib 2.0.591+1.19.2 porting_lib_base: Porting Lib Base 2.0.591+1.19.2 mm: Manningham Mills 2.3 porting_lib_entity: Porting Lib Entity 2.0.591+1.19.2 porting_lib_lazy_registration: Porting Lib Lazy Register 2.0.591+1.19.2 porting_lib_networking: Porting Lib Networking 2.0.591+1.19.2 rechiseled: Rechiseled 1.0.13 reeses-sodium-options: Reese's Sodium Options 1.4.9+mc1.19.2-build.67 repurposed_structures: Repurposed Structures 6.3.24+1.19.2 resourcefulconfig: Resourcefulconfig 1.0.20 resourcefullib: Resourceful Lib 1.1.24 roughlyenoughitems: Roughly Enough Items 9.1.615 error_notifier: Error Notifier 1.0.9 searchables: Searchables 1.0.2 servercore: ServerCore 1.3.3-1.19.2 fabric-permissions-api-v0: fabric-permissions-api 0.2-SNAPSHOT me_lucko_spark-api: spark-api 0.1-SNAPSHOT placeholder-api: Placeholder API 2.0.0-pre.1+1.19.2 shulkerboxtooltip: Shulker Box Tooltip 3.2.2+1.19.2 simplyswords: Simply Swords 1.47.0-1.19.2 sliceanddice: Create Slice & Dice 2.1.6 smallships: Small Ships 2.0.0a2.2 smoothboot: Smooth Boot 1.19-1.7.1 smoothchunk: Smooth chunk save Mod 1.19.1-2.0 sodium: Sodium 0.4.4+build.18 org_joml_joml: joml 1.10.4 sodium-extra: Sodium Extra 0.4.16+mc1.19.2-build.90 caffeineconfig: CaffeineConfig 1.0.0+1.17 spark: spark 1.10.37 starlight: Starlight 1.1.1+fabric.ae22326 structory: Structory 1.0.1 supermartijn642configlib: SuperMartijn642's Config Lib 1.1.6 supermartijn642corelib: SuperMartijn642's Core Lib 1.1.9-d supplementaries: Supplementaries 1.19.2-2.3.17 terrablender: TerraBlender terralith: Terralith 2.3.8 tooltipfix: ToolTip Fix 1.1.1-1.19 trinkets: Trinkets 3.4.2 vinery: Vinery 1.2.11 doapi: Lets Do Api 1.0.4 terraform-wood-api-v1: Terraform Wood API (v1) 4.2.0 vmp: Very Many Players 0.2.0+beta.7.30 voicechat: Simple Voice Chat 1.19.2-2.4.8 waystones: Waystones 11.4.0 whatthebucket: WhatTheBucket 7.0.2 whyamionfire: Why Am I on Fire? 1.2.0 yet-another-config-lib: YetAnotherConfigLib 2.2.0-for-1.19.2 yigd: You're in Grave Danger 1.4.9 yungsapi: YUNG's API 1.19.2-Fabric-3.8.9 org_javassist_javassist: javassist 3.28.0-GA Flywheel Backend: Uninitialized Launched Version: fabric-loader-0.14.21-1.19.2 Backend library: LWJGL version 3.3.1 SNAPSHOT Backend API: Unknown Window size:  GL Caps: Using framebuffer using OpenGL 3.2 GL debug messages:  Using VBOs: Yes Is Modded: Definitely; Client brand changed to 'fabric' Type: Client (map_client.txt) CPU:  
submitted by ennuiCryptid to fabricmc [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 04:18 starfalless I feel so fat

My family have been commenting on my weight so much recently. I hate it so much. I feel so fat. I know I’m not overweight, because of the amount of times I check every week. But still, I want to be slimmer. I’m 13, I know I’ve still got time to grow and I could end up getting taller which might even things out. But what if that doesn’t happen? I’m missing meals and my family don’t even seem to care. There have been a few times I’ve wanted to eat at dinner this week, but they constantly order takeaway and it’s rare there’s an actual home cooked meal. I’m old enough to cook for myself, I know, but I can’t find the energy to do it so I can’t even blame them. If I really wanted to eat I’d cook for myself.
submitted by starfalless to Vent [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 04:17 incurable_boredom I don’t know who I am without being in a mental hospital

I had a rough childhood. I experienced Bullying, Verbal abuse, Parents Divorce, Etc. I have always struggled with anxiety (and possibly autism) since I could remember. This all contributed to me starting to develop depression around 3rd grade. In the middle of fifth grade I started self-harming for the first time. I developed Anorexia in 6th, which was also quarantine. At the 3rd-to-last day of 6th grade my parents saw my self-harm scars during my volleyball game. They took me to a hospital to get them checked out and on May 29 2021 I was admitted to a mental hospital. Thankfully, It was only a 72-hour-hold. But this started a chain reaction that will effect me forever.
After I returned home from the hold I immediately started self-harming again. I also started to become actively Suicidal. I distanced myself away from my family and stayed in my room all day playing video games. On September 19 2021 I decided I had had enough. So I took about 45 Pills from the medicine cabinet and went to bed. I woke up in excruciating pain and was throwing up water. My dad heard me and asked what was wrong. I ended up fainting from the pain and waking up a few seconds later. My dad was very concerned and for some reason I had told him what I did. He immediately drove me to the same hospital as before. I stayed overnight to receive treatment. Later that day I was sent to another mental hospital. This one I would stay in for 19 days. Meaning I would miss my dads birthday. This was also the first time I managed to self-harm in a hospital setting. Soon after I was released I started to refuse to take my medication. My dad took me back to the same mental hospital but they didn’t have any more beds open. He then drove me to a different mental hospital and I was admitted on November 4th 2021. This hospital was different from the last two.
I would end up staying for 27 days. Meaning I missed Thanksgiving. They also decided to have me enroll in a partial hospitalization program. I was only in this program for two days before being readmitted at the same hospital. I would be there for 25 days, Missing Christmas. This was also the first time I got restrained and forcibly medicated. It was utterly and completely traumatizing as a 12 year old. After this they forced me to go into my first residential treatment. I would only end up being their for 8 days, also spending New years 2021-2022 there. The reason it was so short was because I tried to end my life in the bathroom there. They moved me to a new mental hospital. This is where I would have my first physical fight. I would be there for 17 days. I was supposed to go back to the residential but it ended up having no more beds. So I went home, making this the longest time I was away from home. The weird thing is, I miss it so much.
On February 23 2022, I decided to try again to end my life. I didn’t work(obviously). I woke up in a different hospital with 9 stitches where I had tried to end my life. This was the same hospital as my 3rd and 4th hospitalization. I thankfully was only there for 14 days. They then sent me to a troubled teen program, called Midwest Center. This was a residential but I ended up only being here for 19 days because I was doing very good mentally. Then I returned home on March 25 2022 and everything was going good.
That was until the 1-year mark of me trying to overdose came. I decided I wanted to finish what I stated a year ago. When nobody was home I took a rope and went to the forrest in my back yard and tried to end my life but the rope broke. I feel a good 10 feet and was just generally spooked. I decided to call 911. Then came and brought me to a mental hospital and I was admitted on September 18 2022. I was there for 31 days and returned home, Missing my dads birthday, again. Things were good over the holiday season. It felt different though. Because this was the first year, I would actually be spending it at home instead of in the mental hospital.
Then again, on February 6, 2023 my school called the police on me because they were very worried about my safety. they took me to the same hospital as I previously was at. I was there for 40 long days. That was my most recent hospitalization.
it’s been almost 3 months. I have been doing pretty good up until the last few days. I just miss the hospitals for some reason. Even though I hated them. I don’t know why I want to go back, but I just miss the comfort, safety, and support of the staff I got there. I don’t get any of that where I live. I don’t know what to do anymore with myself. Should I go back to the hospital or continue recovery. I just felt so safe there, but I don’t want to go back into that lifestyle, plus my dad will be disappointed in me. Help
submitted by incurable_boredom to offmychest [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 04:15 Plus_Distribution517 AITA for wanting an ex-partner to be accountable for their abuse?

TW sexual assault, interpersonal violence**
I spent nearly 2 years of my life with a man who subjected me to unspeakably cruel emotional and physical abuse. I stayed. I believed him when he said it was my fault. He is powerful, professionally speaking. It thrills him. I admire his work ethic. I admire his confidence. He is one of the smartest people I have ever met. I believe that anyone who knows him, except the few of us who have lived it, would never believe that he has the capacity to intentionally harm his intimate partners in order to dominate and control them. He is a democrat. He never hit me. I have no evidence.
The first time that he held me down during an argument, pinning me to his couch by my ankles so I could “calm down,” was 12 months before I moved into his home. When he apologized I told him I loved him. I knew long before the first time he pounded on my front door at 2:00 AM screaming “you better let me in” with such force it shook my windows that his former partner had written accounts detailing how he subjected her to physical and sexual violence. I’m embarrassed, mortified really, that I believed his explanation of these events. 10 months before he forced me to have sex with him while I showered as his entire immediate family ate breakfast downstairs, the sex become so rough and so violent that I would often urinate blood after. When my doctor asked me if I was experiencing violence, I said no. She told me she’d be in her office if I decided I wanted to talk to her once I dressed. I know I’m not the only woman who knows what the phrase “I’m sorry you had sex you didn’t want to have” sounds like coming out of his mouth.
It’s been months since he decided to end things and I while I am so ashamed that I spent the last few months begging and pleading to him that I could “be better,” I know (academically) that the psychological warfare he inflicted made it impossible for me to regulate my own emotions. It doesn’t make it any less embarrassing though. My desire to share my story, publicly- or even privately to mutual friends does not come from a desire to ruin his life or his career or the careers of the powerful people in our community/state who hire him. I feel I have an obligation to protect other women, and I’m so afraid that as he becomes more powerful the tactics he will employ to dominate and control his partners by any means necessary will only become more severe and more dangerous.
submitted by Plus_Distribution517 to Louisvillents [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 04:14 Physical-Egg-666 Growing up as a Chinese adoptee (24F) in a racist family in the South

(I am just venting about a unique situation I suppose. I was wondering if anyone else feels the way I do. FOR CONTEXT: I grew up in a low socioeconomic and rural town that primarily specialized in deep fried southern food and cotton fields. This meant that, in typical manner of small town America, no one ever really leaves. My mom, dad, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents all attended the same high school as me. One of my childhood friend’s grandmother was the person who signed off on my parents’ marriage license. (I did not know that fact until my mom showed me their old marriage certificate several years later and I saw the familiar looking last name of said friend.) Most townsfolk married someone from their high school class, my parents being no exception. Some even had the same teachers or principals as me. The demographics of my version of small town America was composed mostly of what my teenage self would refer to as “hick rednecks'' and “military jackasses.” (I was mostly referring to the two sides of my family: dad’s side being hick rednecks and mom’s side being military jackasses.) Overall, my hometown was an interesting mix of people ranging from God-fearing Baptists and self-proclaimed “country bumpkins”. There were lots of speeches about hell and brimstone during my childhood.
I’m not sure how to sum up my experience growing up Chinese American. Up until I was an adult, I rarely bothered to share the truth about my adoption. Mostly due to feeling exhausted from having to repeat the same stories to people again and again:
“China had an overpopulation problem in the 1900s. As a knee jerk reaction, the deeply conventional and patriarchal government implemented the One Child Policy. Basically, if parents had more than one kid, they would be heavily taxed and ostracized. Now, if said second child was a girl, they’d be in some hot shit. In Chinese culture, usually it is the son that takes care of their elderly parents while the daughter is married off and becomes part of her new family of in-laws. Being born a girl was seen as an inconvenience as their culture historically coveted males. This often led to Chinese baby girls to be left for dead in trash cans, taken by the government, or even killed. Having a second daughter was seen as a betrayal to the Chinese regime and for some reason warranted infanticide. Well, I’m obviously a girl who survived what essentially was a mass slaughter. Probably the second born daughter which was extra hot shit for my biological parents. They wanted better for me (maybe), so I was put up for adoption. I hung out in a Chinese orphanage for about half a year until two random white people decided to adopt me. They brought me back to America, and the rest is history. No, I have no memories as I was a literal baby. No, I do not know who my birth parents are since adoption was conducted anonymously since putting a child up for adoption was also considered treason. And personally, just my opinion, it’s a little fucked that the government is slightly more approving of murdering babies for something completely out of their control instead of putting them up for adoption.” Or something along those lines…
I was adopted by my mom and dad, but primarily raised by a single mom for most of my childhood. I guess my peers just assumed when they saw my mom, that my dad happened to be Asian which is where I must have gotten my “exotic” genes. My childhood was also very abusive (from all sides of my family). Although I do have love for my family somewhere buried under the deep-seeded resentment, I no longer have a relationship with any of them besides of few of my distant cousins. This is mostly for my own safety/peace of mind because my relatives tend to influence me very negatively.
My earliest childhood memories involved a lot of weird and invasive questions I would hear from adults and peers alike regarding my ethnicity. Well that, and a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach that I would later identify as “survivor’s guilt” as an adult. Logically speaking, I have no reason to feel guilty for being alive, but I do. It would occur any time some adult friend of my parents would gush about how “lucky” I was to be adopted. I suppose luck had some part in my survival, but I didn’t expect people to be tone deaf enough to tell that to a little kid already struggling to come to grips with her cultural identity.
The snarky part of my brain would parody their comments:
“Oh, how these two altruistic white saviors decided to welcome a child as their own despite having no blood ties whatsoever.” Which, in part, is true. My parents did a very selfless thing. They were not able to conceive a baby of their own and they chose me out of the millions of parentless babies in the world. I think the damaging part is the underlying implications about how these nice people could have had any child and yet they settled for a baby no one wanted. My family would refer to my miracle of survival as “God’s plan.” They would talk about how God perfectly orchestrated my early life tragedies so I could be rescued from an awful life with those “evil communists.” I have nothing personal against religion nor people who truly believe in the G man upstairs. My beef comes from how this perspective is very centered on the adopters instead of the adoptees. Yes, it is BOTH our stories, but I often feel like adoptees' voices and feelings of uncertainty are often drowned out by a chorus of “you’re so lucky” and “why do you feel like that? You’re so ungrateful.” Also, I was a healthy baby girl born with no neurological or physical deficiencies. I definitely had much better odds than other babies at being adopted during the One Child Reign. Hearing these implications from people who do not understand nor want to understand the complexity of the adoptee’s experience fed into my survivor guilt and feelings of inadequacy. The adoption progress does involve a loss for the adoptee: a loss of culture, identity, and familial ties. I feel like adoption, specifically international adoption, is highly idealized and romanticized. Although I never told my mom, there was a part of me deep down that felt like a second-rate baby. Mostly because I knew how it would make her sad to know that somewhere in my little kid brain, I didn’t think that I would truly be wanted if my mom’s fertility situation went differently.
I would often describe the state of Texas as “that really annoying, overly-friendly hick cousin that comes to every holiday and gets completely sloshed out of their mind and drunkenly brags about their mediocre accomplishments” to people who would ask me to describe Texas. But for all the Texan pride and arrogance about our current Lone Star State, I suppose I could see its appeal. Living in rural Texas is a familiar, humble, and stable experience. My hometown was relatively safe. I could walk to my childhood friends’ houses after school just a few blocks away from my own house without much fear. Most people waved and smiled at each other in passing. (Looking back through adult lenses, I’m not sure how much of it was genuine.) Most townsfolk could fill their relatively uneventful lives with the downtown gossip of families going through some type of soap opera behind closed doors. And despite living in a small town, the schools were large enough to where we could participate in varsity sports seasonally. The rare minority of people who actually did have the courage to leave eventually moved back to start a family because “there’s no place like good ole home!”
The monotony is what partially induced my pubescent angst and desire to someday escape the only place I’ve ever known. That, and the fact that the things you could do for entertainment in small town USA was close to none. The drawback of only living in one town your entire life is limited world experiences. The safety net of someone’s childhood confinements has the potential to induce complacency confused with comfort. How could you ever expand your worldview when you’re hanging out with the same people with the same ideals again and again?
The Asian population in my hometown was close to nonexistent as well. In my high school graduating class, there was one other Asian kid that attended school as me. When my school’s standardized testing scores would be released, the performance metrics were broken down by how well each ethnic group of students did. Since there were only two Asian kids in my grade level, it would be pretty obvious if one of us failed. (Luckily, neither one of us did.) And of course, my peers encouraged both of us to date since “we’d be, like, SO perfect for each other! We’d get married and have little genius Asian babies!”
The feeling of being “othered” or “different” had always been present throughout my childhood. As a kid, the complexity of prejudices eluded me in my naivety, but the uncomfortable feeling of my peers hyperfocusing on my almond-shaped eyes, my flat nose, my stick straight black hair, and any other features felt like they were screaming, “ASIAN!” very loudly. A part of me felt some sort of unspoken alliance between me and my Hispanic friends. It was as if to some degree, they understood what it was like to have your whole personhood categorized by the color of your skin. Sadly, a large portion of my family was uncomfortable with the presence of anyone of Hispanic descent, and I'd often be forced to come up with excuses for my friends of color to not come over in fear of my traditionally southern family making an off-the-cuff comment about how "Mexicans are dirty, poor, and thuggy criminals." Their political diatribes, usually involving immigration, were the popular conversation starters during family get-togethers. My family was very much the type of people that would preach out being a good, godly man/woman while snickering about non-White people's "oddities." Talking about how Jesus loves all and then whispers sanctimoniously about a low-income Hispanic family on the opposite side of the room.
"Oh, GOD BLESS their hearts!"
I doubt those families needed my family's pity.
My mom's sister once texted me after I returned a stray dog to their rightful owner,
"I need to know their race so I can determine their education levels. If they're Mexican, it makes sense why they didn't pay you for rescuing their dog. Mexicans are always looking for the cheap way out."
They were Hispanic, and they were very thankful for the return of their dog. I didn't understand why a decent deed automatically required me to be compensated nor how their racial background tied into their obligation to compensate me.
I snarky replied, "What does their ethnic background have anything to do with how they should act?"
To which she responded, "Calm down. I can practically hear you getting huffy with me from your text. Don't get mad at me! I told you that those Mexicans are always coming to our country and expecting us to learn THEIR language while they refuse to learn English! Plus, when you're my age and all your tax dollars go into keeping lazy illegals afloat, you'll understand why I'm not willing to let some freeloading Mexicans take advantage of my niece."
I no longer talk to that aunt.
My dad's (now current) wife also got very sloshed at the last Christmas event I attended and ranted very loudly about how "the Bible said that evil yellow people like (me) would bring the end of the world and second coming of Jesus to end our sinful tyranny" in front of my entire family with my dad awkwardly ignoring her xenophobic remarks.
It also did not help that in elementary school, some of my classmates would see me and bow to me while one boy would pretend to bang a gong as soon as I entered the classroom and snicker while singing, “CHING, CHONG, CHINKY!” Or how during snack breaks, my peers would pop up to ask me questions like, “do you know karate,” or, “can you speak Chinese to me, " or “ew, don’t tell me you’re gonna eat my dog. He’s a really cute puppy!”
As evasive and uncomfortable these comments could get, I felt like they were fairly innocuous and were asked out of a mix of childhood ignorance and genuine curiosity. I think the part that bothered me the most was having some of my classmates point out how “weird” my eyes looked while placing their fingers at the corners of their eyes and stretching them outwards and loudly proclaiming, “LOOK, NOW I’M CHINESE TOO!!! I LOOK JUST LIKE YOU!” But the absolute worst feeling would be when someone would mention how I look nothing like my very obviously white mom or dad.
“How could they be your parents when you don’t even look like them?”
To which I had a carefully crafted answer my mom would help me rehearse beforehand: “Oh, yeah, I’m adopted from China. Not all families look the same.”
And the retort back would usually be, “Do you miss your real parents?”
Do I?
I ponder that question to this day.
It feels uncomfortable to have people refer to my sperm and egg donors as my “real parents.” My adoptive parents felt very real to me because they were all I knew.
I don’t think I fit the concept of the model minority. I did not come out of the womb as one of those “wiz kids” playing the piano like Mozart, doing linear algebra before I was verbal, and eating dogs for breakfast. My experience as being an Asian American and labeled as the “good minority” has been a weird space to be in. As much as I partially appreciated being known as the “successful, smart, culturally assimilated” race of people, a part of me felt bitter at the notion that all my successes in life might be attributed to my ethnicity. When I would express my discontent with these labels, I would often get reprimanded as ungrateful.
“Don’t you want to be smart?”
“What’s so bad about being Asian? It’s a compliment!”
“Are you embarrassed to be Asian?”
“And you’re basically guaranteed a spot in medical school to become a doctor.”
“The guys are obsessed with you because of your exotic genes!”
(Pro tip for anyone, but especially for my fellow marginalized members: if someone calls you “exotic,” run.)
The answers to these questions usually go, “yes, nothing, no, what, and ew.”
Yes, I do want to be smart. I hope that my cognitive abilities will help me contribute something positive to society one day.
Nothing is wrong with being Asian or whatever you are. It just feels very uncomfortable to hear about an entire group of people as if they’re all the same.
No. I have never and will never be embarrassed of what I am.
What? Why do you assume I automatically want to become a doctor?
Ew, exotic? I don’t even want to reply to that comment.
I wish that I had the vocabulary at the time to respond like that. Instead, I would awkwardly laugh at their comment and say something along the lines of, “haaaa, I don’t know any other Asians. If you run into them, you’ll have to ask them.”
When you would hear about brilliant minds in history such as Albert Einstein or Stephen Hawking, most wouldn't say, “Oh well, it’s because they’re white. All those white genetics are what keep them so hard-working and successful.” Instead, as a demographic that is adequately represented in society, Einstein and Hawking and so many other white men had their accomplishments acknowledged as their own individualistic brilliance. An experience I so desperately wanted. So what if I was good or bad at math? I want to be called smart because I am smart. Not because I have some God-given wiz genes that have prophesied my successes from my first primordial cell. Or what if I was terrible at math? I don’t want to be labeled as a “bad” or “fake” Asian. I don’t want to be categorized as one of those “innocent, submissive Asian girls that would make a proper wife one day.” I just want to exist in my own space as my own person. Whoever I ended up becoming.
(Does anyone have negative experiences from adoption? I would love to know because the rare fellow adoptees I have met have very different (positive) experiences than myself.)
submitted by Physical-Egg-666 to Adoption [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 04:14 perhapsasitseems First time puppy owner! Emotional rollercoaster!

Hello everyone! About a week ago, I just got the sweetest, most mellow little 3 month old Maltipoo named Chloe. I’ve been taking her to get her vaccinations (rabies vaccine next Friday yay!), I’m meeting with a dog boarder tomorrow so I can establish a relationship with someone in case no one in my family can take care of her, and on top of at-home training (she’s so receptive and smart) I’ve found a reputable training school nearby and next month we’ll be going to obedience and behavior classes! We even almost have a relatively consistent schedule.
…Y’all. The anxiety is through the roof. The vet said everything was “very normal” with her but when she sleeps I find myself checking if she’s still breathing. She pooped an hour later than usual.. is she sick? She napped longer today, is she dying? Am I raising a well-mannered dog? I need to have to her meet more dogs soon, I need to introduce her to more people. She’s just chilling there in her crate not sleeping. Is she sad? Does she feel like I’m imprisoning her? She peed here again? Dang it, how did I not spot her? Oh my god we only have like 10-15 years together? How do I give her a good life?
My sister is on summer break next week and my boyfriend is moving in with us soon. I’ll get even more help. Please ease my mind. The puppy blues are incredibly real.
submitted by perhapsasitseems to puppy101 [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 04:14 Z0mbiizz AITA for acting the way I’ve been acting?

I 16F moved in with my dad (49) his girlfriend (47) and her 2 kids 12F and 16F - This is mainly about my dad and his girlfriend, I’ll call my dad “Dad” and his girlfriend “R” - I try to be as polite and respectful as possible but everyone has a limit. At first it was simple things I didn’t have an issue with like sweeping the floor doing the dishes watering the plants, stuff like that. But I started noticing it was only me doing this stuff R’s daughters were upstairs laying down, so I started asking “why can’t your daughters help me or do it?” It was always “they don’t feel good” or “I’m not asking them” I did it sometimes not wanting to cause any problems but eventually I got fed up. One day she storms into my room and yells at me for leaving a box by the trash can instead of taking it to the outside trash and tells me “that is the community trash I don’t want trash from your room in that trash can!” I respond with “you just said it’s the community trash so I’m gonna put my trash in there I don’t have a trash can in my room.” She gets mad and rants about irrelevant stuff like “you never wanna do anything anymore you just sit in your room playing your games!” Stuff along those lines I just stare at her and lay back down cause I felt this conversation is over, 5 minutes later my dad slams my door open and starts yelling at me and basically told me to comply because me giving my opinion and feelings is gonna rip our “family” apart. After that day I’ve been acting passive aggressively and she took it as “you have no respect for me” and took this to a whole new level. one day she told me she was gonna pick me up from school, so after school I wait in the front after a while I was confused why she wasn’t there because we are 15 minutes from school so I thought it was weird but I continue waiting, I get concerned cause I have anemia and needed water and my medicine so I try to go into the school the doors are locked. 2 hours later she pulls up to the school I get in the car and ignore her not speaking to her cause I was clearly upset she made me wait in 80 degree weather. Later that day my dad comes home early from work and slams open my door yelling at me telling me I need to stop being the way I am basically saying because I’ve been acting the way I’ve been acting makes R feel uncomfortable and unsafe making it my fault he chose to leave work early yelling at me blaming me for everything telling me I’m fucking up but then tries to apologize saying “you know I love you” this made me emotionally confused. I would often tell my mom about these interactions and she would talk to my dad about the way he’s been treating me. My dad didn’t like this he would come into my room and tell me to stop telling my mom what happens in the house it’s none of her business. I’ve been avoiding them all for 2 weeks now and my dad keeps telling me to stop being a brat if I refuse to respond. So Aita for acting the way I’ve been acting?
submitted by Z0mbiizz to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 04:13 Impressive_Sherbert3 My Experience With The Barnett Family

Would anybody be interested in hearing my experience with this family? In full transparency I worked for them in Kristine’s in home daycare prior to Natalia being in the picture. It was in 2003-2004 so I know it’s been awhile. But I will never forget that family and now uneasy Kristine made me and my friend feel.
We were both seniors in high school and worked at her daycare Monday-Friday after we got out of school. And then full time in the summer.
I’m originally from Carmel, Indiana which is also in Hamilton County (where the Barnetts lived in Westfield)
Anyways I didn’t wanna make a long by winded posts if ppl were not interested since some time has passed.
Please let me know!
submitted by Impressive_Sherbert3 to nataliagrace [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 04:12 ihaveqs_youhaveas Am I making the right choice by limiting interactions with my father (68/m) due to the actions of his emotionally abusive spouse (60/f)?

TLDR at end.
Throughout my childhood, my sister (28/f) and I (36/f) were very close with my father (68/m). He was a very involved parent, coaching our youth sports teams and leading school parental advisory committees. He played board games with us and shuttled us around to our friends’ houses. In short, wonderfully involved father.
Our parents divorced 20 years ago. Approximately 6 years ago, my father met Deb (60/f). The two of them dated for a few years prior to Dad moving in with Deb. Without getting into details for the sake of brevity, Deb never really meshed with many (any?) of Dad’s family or friends. She’s very outspoken, abrupt, and judgmental, and shows very clear signs of narcissistic personal disorder (NPD). She also shows behaviours that have me wondering if she takes advantage of my father financially. My sister and I have really tried to foster a positive (or at least passable) relationship, but it hasn’t been working.
Two years ago, my Dad and Deb moved to an island near Deb’s hometown, away from the rest of my Dad’s family and friends. Apart from being geographically isolated, Dad has started to interact less and less with his friends and family. Soon after moving to the island, Deb announced that my sister and I were no longer allowed to visit my Dad and Deb’s house on the island; if my Dad wanted to see us, he’d have to travel to another state to visit us at our homes only.
My Dad has tried reasoning with Deb but she is steadfast in forbidding us to visit their house. Deb has stated that if he allows us to visit, she will end their relationship. She is unwilling to partake in group or individual counselling to discuss the matter and seek a resolution, despite Dad and I working with a counsellor to try and get through this (counsellor concluded Deb had to be at the table to find a resolution). Dad has said he doesn’t want to be alone at his age, and enjoys travelling and activities with her, so he’s not open to giving her an ultimatum in our defense.
This is causing my sister and I (and our young families/Dad’s grandchildren) a lot of pain. While I do love my father, I feel hurt and frustrated that he is simply ‘accepting’ these ultimatums and not sticking up for his family to Deb’s emotional abuse. I feel that a healthy relationship is reciprocal, and as such, have told my Dad that if we’re no longer allowed to visit his house, it’s likely we won’t see him as often and our relationship (including with grandchildren) will deteriorate. I just can’t retain my childhood image of him as the ideal father knowing that he’s not willing to stick up for us to Deb.
Am I making the right choice by telling my father that if he doesn’t stick up for his family to his emotionally abusive NPD partner, I’m unwilling to accommodate a non-reciprocal relationship, and will likely have a lesser opinion of him as a fathegrandfather, and see him much less frequently?
submitted by ihaveqs_youhaveas to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 04:11 Sirensong_6842 I’m stuck in the middle what do I do?

I have a friend (J) that I use to be close to since we were kids although our friendship isn’t much there due to negativity. She has her boyfriend (B) who has been best friends with my bf (bf) (her bs is ruining their friendship now though). However “J” got her boyfriend “B” by cheating so that’s how “B’s” ex “M” comes in.
Honestly my loyalty is with my bf not “J” “B” or “M”. I don’t want to get involved but I’ve been put in the middle and am not sure what to do.
It’s been over 3 years that “B” left “M” for “J” however during that time they (all 3) remained “friends” for a while (that was weird for everyone) now they are not and “M” makes occasional posts on the topic however both “J” and “B” are blocked so the way they keep finding out is through “J”s family and friends. They know she is a person with extreme anxiety ect and she’s pregnant so I believe they are being stupid with this but whatever. Point is I’ve seen the posts ya one had “J”s name but other then that they are just the flat out truth everything “j” and “b” have already told everyone they know so nothing new and nothing bad honestly but now “J” has informed me one of her family/friends intends on locating where she works and going there to “talk” to her it’s not just gonna be a talk they have been texting “m” and harassing her. And now “j” is also talking about trying to track her work and home down and get a restraining order and defamation of character idk anything legal but I also know that “b” has a gun and “j” has not hesitated to verbally threaten before. That last part was never part of the topic but I’m an over thinker. So what should I do should I let “m” know leave it? “J” will not stop the subject with me ever sooo
submitted by Sirensong_6842 to Advice [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 04:11 LimaBean3449 US doesn’t care about abuse of disabled people

I am glad this show had so many viewers, because it told the story about a young disabled girl who was viciously abused (emotionally, physically, and mentally).
Having worked for a home for the disabled, the blind eye that the US government takes on these things is nothing short of nauseatingly evil.
They receive the reports all the time, the evidence, the tips, and for some reason that I don’t know, they just keep letting it slip. Because they are soulless and lazy, or (???) I honestly I have no idea why they don’t give a shit!! Not enough resources? I don’t care. I pay so much in taxes. Do better America.
The only reason Natalia is still alive is because that woman who was a stranger, took her in as her own family and took care of her.
Poor Natalia is one of millions of disabled Americans who has no one. No one to care or advocate and the government WILL fail you. This abuse and neglect happens everyday constantly and nobody knows or nobody involved cares. Coming from someone who used to file special incident reports daily and work with state workers on abuse allegations just for them to completely dismiss everything.
When I watched the show I totally thought she was a creepy adult but then after all the information was presented I now feel guilt that I made such a quick judgment and was so easily influenced. God. That is something I have to grapple with. It’s so interesting a show can make you self reflect like that. And it’s a parallel to how this case appeared to everyone on the outside.
The subject is very frustrating, I wish the US took care of its people, but it doesn’t.
submitted by LimaBean3449 to nataliagracecase [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 04:10 KodokuOkami Was I assaulted?

I don't like calling myself a "survivor", because I don't think what I went through was anywhere near severe enough for me to consider myself that, especially when I look at the countless others that have gone through far worse, but there are those that insist that I am, so I figured I'd ask here.
This happened while I was living in Vegas a while back, when I was 19. I had just gotten off work at about 11 at night, and was waiting at the bus stop, when this dude who is very visibly drunk stumbles by and starts talking to me, asking for help. I don't remember exactly what he was asking, but he did ask me to head a little down the road with him, to where his family was staying. Even then, I knew the situation was very dangerous, but I was exhausted from work, so I wasn't capable of making the best judgement calls at the time. I also knew the area very well, was confident in my ability to fight the guy off if he became violent, and I was (and still kinda am) a bleeding heart when people in that state came to me for help. Vegas buses run fairly often, so I figured why not, and went with him.
I'll skip the unnecessary details, but keep in mind that I am a trans woman. I bring that up because he was very "romantically handsy" with me while we walked down the street; calling me his girlfriend, holding my hand, walking close, that sort of thing. Given his state, I didn't mind it too much, so I humored him and played along, always keeping on edge in case things went south. I didn't expect him to turn my head towards his and kiss me, though. It was certainly a lover's kiss, I'll say that much. I froze in shock for a moment, but began to push away when I felt him getting a little too comfortable with his hands, I'll say. He played it off like it was nothing and continued down the road. I, on the other hand, was definitely still shaken, though I put on my best customer service poker face to try and hide it. I felt violated, for sure, but I had at least stopped him before he went further. I wanted to turn and run back to the bus stop I was at, but I knew I'd feel overwhelmingly guilty about just abandoning him without knowing he's at least someplace safe in his drunken state, so I stayed with him. The next bus stop wasn't too much further anyway, so I carried on. We did stop at a convenience store, and I did tell some of the people there that he was drunk and I didn't know him, and to call Police if he came back this way later and I wasn't with him.
Fast forwarding a little more (the walk took far longer than I'd have liked), and we stopped at a nearby casino parking lot so he could drink the beer he bought from the convenience store, which I did advise was a bad idea but hey, couldn't expect him to listen to reason at the moment. The next bus stop was very close, and the next bus was due to arrive relatively soon, so I leaned against a nearby post for one of the large casino signs you see all over Vegas. I had my phone out, wondering who I could call to make sure both I got home safe, and this guy got the help he needs, when this guy presses against me, pretty much pinning me against the post. He was gentle about it, but it was still enough to catch me off guard. I couldn't understand what he was saying through the slurred speech, but judging by his eyes and where his hands were moving, I had a fairly good idea of what he wanted. Before I could do anything about it, though, two of the casino's parking lot security pulled up on bikes and asked us what we were doing, thinking we were just two overzealous teenagers or something. I distanced myself from the guy and explained the situation, albeit poorly due to my shaking voice and failing façade. They separated us and one of them asked me something while the other one got the drunken man to walk back up the road and away from me. I don't remember what the other guard asked me, as my mind was still reeling from what the actual hell was going on, but he didn't let me leave until the other guy was out of sight. He then asked if I wanted a ride home in one of their cruisers, and I declined. I just walked to the nearby bus stop, just in time to catch my next bus. I texted my mom about it, and she was the first to say that it was definitely assault and a reportable offense but again, I was way too exhausted to make a report about that so late at night. Even moreso after the fact. But I had also heard countless stories of other people who had gone through far worse than that, and I really didn't think it appropriate for my mother to be saying I'd "survived abuse", as she was adamant about. It was wrong, sure, but again, I'd heard far worse stories, and had known people close to me who had it much worse. So, I just filed it away in my mind as another weird Vegas occurrence.
Now, however, the memory keeps resurfacing every now and again, and I wonder if it really was as big a deal as everyone made it out to be - then and now. So I figured I'd make a post here and ask, to at least get some sort of definitive answer.
submitted by KodokuOkami to rape [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 04:10 Ok-Acanthisitta-1242 Enjoy as I traumadump onto the interwebs

My wife has choked me (out of anger), cheated on me, and pressured me into painful sexual acts. While she stopped doing those things (as far as I know), she pressures me into paying her rent, her parents' rent, and even her family's speeding tickets. She tells me what to wear, how to act, and ridicules me, saying things like "you have changed for the better thanks to me" and laughing at me when I cry or try new things. I try to forgive her but I cannot. I have tried to leave her but can't bear the pain (abandonment issues ... history of alcoholic parents with severe mental illness ... removed from the home ... sexual abuse ...) I am in therapy but am terrified to tell this all to my therapist because I'm afraid it's all my fault and I'm afraid she'll call whatever the adult version of CPS is and destroy my family. I just needed to get this out somewhere. I'll probably delete it in a bit.
submitted by Ok-Acanthisitta-1242 to offmychest [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 04:08 fit-ness Moving out

Bf and I have been together for 2 years. Lived together most of that time (Side note - ALWAYS take months to get to know the stepkid BEFORE moving in, so you know if you can handle it or not). But the last two months or so we’ve definitely hit a wall. We’ve had family drama, communication issues and possibly some incompatibilities that we put on the sidelines rear their heads back up. We both want to make this work. However, his 13 year old daughter is here 50/50 and will be here more once summer vacation starts. The last two months I have felt so isolated and disconnected from my partner, we’re in a strange gray area right now where we wanna try to make things work, and he is against me moving out…. but I feel like I have to for a clearer mind to think about next steps, plus also to avoid getting his daughter entangled in this awkward dynamic we have now (basically roommates vs a couple). I also feel like a live-in babysitter and chef for her at this point. Which is building a lot of frustration and resentment. She doesn’t have much stability in her life so I feel horrible. It is heartbreaking but I know in my heart it is the right answer. Leaving the dog behind (his dog from the start) is also going to be another emotional mountain to climb. But - I’ll move out and hopefully we can continue this work in our own separate spaces while staying together, but it’s sucks. And kids add a whole other layer to the complexity. (If this doesn’t work out- as much as I hate to say it- this was my first relationship involving a kid and it WILL be my last). (I am looking forward to a place that is entirely mine and I can FINALLY feel at home…).
submitted by fit-ness to stepparents [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 04:07 Thedevilsreject82 Lost account

I came here because I have been dealing with an issue since May 9th and was going to see if possibly someone would have an answer. However I have noticed that there seems to be an abundance of similar issues. On the 9th my wife paid her bill that is a family plan that includes her, my son and my daughter. Since then my son has not been able to send or recieve and calls or texts. We have been thru everything.. phone resets, telling us it's the phone (it wasnt), changing sim cards (3 times), getting a new number, telling us to wait 72 hours because his phone was changing from Boost legacy to Boost 1, updates (there was none).. all while my son was at end of senior year without a phone so he couldnt get a hold of us to let us know things were fine for prom, after prom, senior exam early days.. even just when he was off work or when he got home from school.
However after coming here and seeing alot of other similar issues, I was wondering if anyone thinks if there is a way to file a multi person lawsuit for these issues? I may be over reacting but I have been treated like trash this past month, my wifes next Bill is due in a couple days so I just am thinking out loud. I have contacted the Better Business Bureau on this matter already.
submitted by Thedevilsreject82 to BoostMobile [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 04:07 Neat_Ad_7140 Mom is nuts

So I’m 28(f) and my mom almost 67. I’ve always known my mom was a little unhinged by the way she treats our family. She’ll cut you off in a heart beat. She’s done it with my other two siblings. I’ve done everything to fulfill her needs. I bought the house we lived in, helped her get a new car, etc. But I’ve finally had enough of her weird tantrums towards me. She’ll get in one of her moods and stop talking to me with out telling me what I’ve done wrong. She’s been doing this since I was 5. She’s tried to kick me out and give me to my dad several times but always came back for me hours later.
So last week I come home from work (10 hour shift) and things are good. I help her with things around the house or outside. We’re talking and joking around. My GF normally comes over a few times a night pretty late but she gets to my house a little early. About an hour later my mom decides to flip out on me. Her entire mood changed. She starts telling me “Go away”, “leave me alone and go back to your little family”. I continue to ask her what I did wrong and how I can fix it. I get nothing.
After continuing this for about 10 minutes she walks to her room and tries to shut me out but my dog runs in. As she’s telling me to get my dog away from her and out of her room I’m asking her what I did. Her response “You know what you did. Now get the dog before something bad happens” I was confused. So she repeated things a little more clearly. “ Get him before I go get my gun”. So I freaked! She went toward the area she normally keeps her gun but instead of getting it she closed the blinds to her window. I immediately got my dog out and left out of her room. I told my GF who was in the other room that we needed to go now and packed my bag and my dogs things and left.
I haven’t been back in almost a week. To my house, the house I pay the mortgage at. The house I bought so we didn’t have to move or struggle anymore. I just left and went to my GFs house instead. Somewhere safe. Well I decided to come back home tonight. What a mistake. I come back home with my dog and I’m greeted to silence. I spoke as I walked in and she just gave me a cold look. An evil look and said nothing. So I just went to my room. Now I’m on edge in my own house wondering if she’ll still get her gun and shoot me down for something I have no idea that I did.
Almost every year we get in to these arguments and go through periods of silence but this one is just crazy. She’s so normal around everyone else. My best friend thinks we have a great relationship but he didn’t know I walk on eggshells trying not to set her off. My siblings have told me stories of her physical abuse. How my sister came home one day to all her things ripped apart or how she would have my brother on the ground with her foot on his neck. I don’t know if I would have been better off with the physical abuse over the mental abuse. I just want peace. Oh well. Thanks for hearing my rant.
submitted by Neat_Ad_7140 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 04:07 H4km4N MISSING Anthony R Catalano 3/25/2009

MISSING Anthony R Catalano 3/25/2009
Nickname: Tony
Race: White
Sex: Male
Age: 34
Height: 70"
Weight: 185 lbs
Brown hair, brown eyes and very muscular with a 2 inch scar on his neck
Last seen at his residence on 8700 block of West Bryn Mawr Avenue in Chicago, Illinois. Anthony was last seen wearing his 3/4 length black pea coat
Anyone with information can contact Chicago Police Department Detective Mario Gonzales (312) 745-6055
Case #: HR254515
NamUs MP #: 11837
submitted by H4km4N to MISSINGBIPOC [link] [comments]